Getting your toddler to co-operate
Toddler independence is a wonderful thing and it’ll be great to see your little one blossom into becoming her own little person. The one downside: she’s going to want to do pretty much everything her way. And that can be a big problem when it comes to routines and behavior. So how can you get your toddler to co-operate when she’s faced with doing something she doesn’t want to do?
My toddler won’t eat…
Toddlers and preschoolers tend to go through a
picky stage even when it comes to eating old favorites, and they’re also much more resistant when it comes to trying new foods.
Be calm Don’t get sucked into a power struggle with your child – and don’t get into the habit of giving into her and offering her an alternative because you’re worried she might go hungry otherwise. If she knows you’ll cave she’ll just keep it up, whereas if you hold your ground she’ll realize that refusing to eat just means she’ll go hungry.
Keep offering her the foods she refuses It can take up to 10 or more exposures to a new food for a child to try it.
Don’t give her too much If she feels overwhelmed by the amount of food on the plate she may not want to make a start on her meal. A young child’s stomach is only about the size of her fist, so offer small portions and then give her more if she asks for it.
Give her choices Let her feel she has had some input in planning the menu by giving simple choices: “Would you like broccoli or string beans?”; “Would you like pasta or rice?”
Serve food differently If veggies are her bugbear, try serving them up as crudités with light ranch dressing or hummus as a dip. Otherwise, disguise them by puréeing them in a food processor and adding them to pasta sauces.
Model healthy eating If your child sees you eating and enjoying the foods she has been refusing, she’s more likely to give them a try.
My toddler won’t stay in bed…
Toddlers and preschoolers are prone to nightly
bedtime battles. At this age, children are more prone to nightmares and
fear of the dark. And often the move to a big bed can trigger nocturnal rambling.
Create a bed boundary Bedtime problems often result from the move to a big bed because there is no longer a physical barrier to prevent your child from getting up. If her crib is large enough it might be worth moving her back in to it for a few more months. Alternately, try attaching a simple bed gate to her bed to create a barrier.
Make sure she’s comfortable She could be getting up because she’s too hot or she isn’t warm enough.
Use a nightlight in her room if she’s afraid of the dark, and make sure to use them to light her route to the bathroom overnight as well.
Banish monsters! If she’s obsessing over monsters under the bed, try placing the mattress directly on the floor. A spray bottle of monster repellent (plain water with a little perfume mixed in!) also an help set her mind at rest.
Hang a dreamcatcher These beaded ‘cobwebs’ are so handy for catching bad dreams before they upset your child!
Be consistent Try to avoid giving in and letting your toddler come into bed with you, no matter how tempting it might be on cold nights when walking her back to her room might happen three or four times in the small hours of the morning. If she knows you’ll give in she’ll just keep doing it.
My toddler won’t use the potty…
Most young children who are being
potty trained go through a stage where they think the potty is optional and while some are perfectly happy to pee in it, many draw the line when it comes to pooping.
Remind her Your child may be leaving puddles around the house because she isn’t able to connect the urge to pee with the need to sit on the potty. Remind her as often as possible, especially after she has had a drink and if she’s engrossed in play.
Time it right While she’s learning to make the urge-potty connection, watch her for signs that she needs to use it, such as tugging at herself or using her hand to ‘hold on’, or shifting from foot to foot.
If pooping is the problem, let her sit on the potty while wearing a diaper in order to poop and then help her tip the poop into the potty for flushing. Progress to leaving a diaper open in the potty for her to poop onto. Once she’s used to that, start leaving smaller pieces of the diaper or a Kleenex in the bottom of the potty until she no longer needs it.
Make it fun! Have a special book she only gets to look at when she sits on the potty, or give her bubbles to play with when she sits on it.
My toddler won’t share…
Sharing is one of the hardest things for toddlers and young children to do because they’re still at a stage where the only needs and wants that matter are theirs!
Read books about sharing to your child – your local children’s librarian should be able to suggest some good choices.
Praise her when she shares Tell her how happy it made you feel that she shared a toy with a friend and remind her how good it makes her feel when someone else shares with her.
Model sharing yourself Each day, do an activity where you share or take turns with your child. For example, you could play catch or take turns to color a picture, or you could share a snack.
Put away precious toys before a playdate If you know your child is likely to have big problems with sharing certain toys, it’s best to take the precaution of putting them away before friends come over.
The information on this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 19/01/2009