Mini-me: children who grow up too fast

It’s something a lot of moms do, especially with their first baby: long for their precious little one to start smiling, waving, crawling, talking, walking, right now! It can often mean that we push our babies onto the next milestone without really savoring the now – and for many moms, it’s really only with second and subsequent babies that they sit back and take each day and each magical milestone as it comes.

In the early years it’s natural to be enthusiastic about seeing your baby and toddler blossom every day – and every day they can do something new. And we do so many things to help them – which is right and proper. And what mom isn’t going to be enthused by the prospect of their needy, clingy baby becoming more independent, being able to walk instead of clamoring to be carried, perhaps sleeping through the night, outgrowing the tantrum stage and being able to clearly articulate what she needs instead of crying in frustration because she can’t?

But it’s important to find a balance because as our babies become toddlers and preschoolers helping them can often translate into kids that are growing up too fast as we hyper-parent them, pushing them that little bit more, trying to help them compete with other children their age and come out on top when it comes to educational achievements. We might end up with what’s become known as a ‘hurried child’ as we push them to learn their ABC and 123, push them intellectually to a stage they really can’t cope with emotionally. In doing this we often are meeting our own needs instead of our child’s: perhaps making up for opportunities we never got as children by forcing them on.

Marketing gurus have a term for it also: kids getting older younger – and many of the toys we buy our children encourage the trend, making them think when all they really want to do is make a loud noise with something. Television is a factor – the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of two years don’t watch any television at all and that it should be limited for older children, but 70 percent of under-twos watch it every day.

It can cause a lot of problems for a young child to be so far ahead of her peers that she can’t relate to them and finds it difficult to interact with them. Your mini-me may seem sophisticated and smart but she is still a young child and the fact she may seem mature doesn’t necessarily equip her with the ability to deal with grown up issues and concerns.

It’s vital that you avoid this by nurturing your child appropriately according to her stage of development. Let her do the silly things children do – let her run and play and climb instead of signing her up for every early learning class going, let her play with children her own age instead of spending her time with grown ups because you think it might make her smarter. Don’t push your child to be something she isn’t – let her be a child by treating her like one. And above all, get down to her level and play with her! Because one great thing about letting your child act her age is that it can take years off you as well!

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.