First-time dad survival guide
Most dads-to-be will turn white-faced at the thought of standing at the business end during the birth, or changing a dirty diaper once their baby has arrived. But those are the least of your worries because you’ll be having to face up to very real concerns and issues, such as coping with sleep deprivation, supporting your partner, soothing a crying baby and trying to find a balance between your old life as a couple and your new life as a family.
Here are gurgle’s tips for first-time fathers:
Forget sex for a while!
If you didn’t get much during the final weeks of your partner’s pregnancy then don’t count on doing any better immediately after your baby arrives. Your partner will be nursing all sorts of aches and pains down below, especially if she had an episiotomy of tore during the birth and has stitches. Plus, she’ll likely be advised not to try having sex again until after her six-week postpartum check, to guard against any infections.
Tiredness will also be a factor – she’ll likely be doing the lion’s share of the babycare, especially if she’s breastfeeding, and sex will be the last thing on her mind. It’s a time when sleep has to be her top priority so be patient and hold off until you’re both feeling more energetic and can take the time to ensure it goes well. In the meantime, show your affection with cuddles and with practical support when it comes to caring for your baby.
Understand your partner’s emotions
Many new moms experience a mild form of depression called the baby blues after their baby is born – it’s thought to be linked to the sudden fall in pregnancy hormones after the birth. For some moms, the blues can lead to postpartum depression, with intense mood swings and feelings of hopelessness. Ahead of the birth, learn what you can about the symptoms of postpartum depression so that you can help your partner if she seems down.
Be a hands-on dad
Don’t leave all the babycare to your partner, even if it seems the logical thing to do while she’s at home with your newborn and you’re having to get up to go out to work. Just because she’s at home doesn’t means she’s getting the chance to catch up on her rest – in fact, she’s probably working harder than you are. So do take a turn at getting up to your baby at night or giving her a night feed. If the hours you work make this difficult then compromise by doing the night feeds over the weekend.
And don’t back away from those unpleasant jobs like diaper changes, or feel nervous about bathing your baby – these can be wonderful bonding experiences, and by engaging in them with your baby you’ll become much more confident when it comes to handling her. Don’t leave your partner to tackle crying either – it’s vital that you too know how to soothe your baby and it’s often very simple because most
Stay fit
You aren’t going to handle being a new dad if you aren’t healthy and energetic. If your life before baby consisted of late nights partying with friends, make the effort to act more responsibly once your baby is born. You’ll need all the energy you can get to be an involved dad, so eat healthfully, get sufficient exercise and plan in some early nights!
Get some couple time
Surprise your partner by arranging a night out 9if you’re sure she’s ready for it) a few weeks or months after your baby is born. Arrange a babysitter or ask your mom or another family member or friend to watch your baby and get back in touch with each other over dinner and a movie. You started this adventure as a twosome and it’s vital to keep that team intact through the trials and joys of being parents.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
Related Articles
Last Modified: 19/06/2009
Related Chat
You'll need to be logged in to post new Comments and Answers or to Chat.
Login or
Register