Can babies pick up on our emotions?
We all want our babies to be happy (easy!) babies but often cranky babies get that way because they can sense that we feel cranky too. For first-time moms, who may not be prepared for the hard work of baby care and the overwhelming emotions that come with being a parent, 24-7 babycare can be hard work. It exhausts you at a time when you may be feeling depressed, as pregnancy hormones plummet after the birth. A cranky baby makes things even more difficult but often you end up caught in a vicious cycle – you are anxious and your baby picks up on your tension and is unsettle by it. She cries more because she’s unsettled, and this makes you even more anxious.
How your baby reads your emotions
Many moms say that when they are having a bad day their baby does too – and vice versa. This is because we all display our hidden emotions in the way we carry ourselves and the way we talk. And it’s vital that they do so, because young babies can’t understand the actual words you are saying to them, and are reliant on you
communicating with them via your body language.
Your clever baby can pick up on your emotions even if you are doing your best to hide how you really feel. While you may put on a brave face and smile, it’s highly likely your baby will be able to perceive your true feelings because often those feeling can affect the way you care for her. You might not attend to her as quickly as usual when she’s crying, you might cuddle her less, not make eye contact when you talk to her, or use a sharper tone of voice when you talk or sing to her.
The clues you give your baby
Think about how you rock your baby when she has been crying for along
period of time – perhaps you might do it more vigorously. Or if she’s
reaching up to you, you might reach down and pick her up in a very
swift, decisive movement compared to the smile and slow lift you do
when you’re in a good mood. These actions are all clues your baby picks up on. Studies have shown that the babies of parents who are under a great deal of
stress are able to sense their agitation and display similar behaviors themselves, becoming harder to settle and comfort. As they grow, they are more likely to have sleep problems and be
picky eaters.
Conversely, if you’re having a great day and you’re in a good mood, you will likely cuddle your baby more often, smile at her more, sing and talk to her in a bright, cheerful voice as you change her diaper or bath her. This will translate into a happier, relaxed and easier baby – and you’ll be able to see it in the way she gazes into your eyes, coos to you and laughs.
Calming your emotions
A happy you means a happier baby so it’s important that you take time for yourself even if you feel your baby should be your number one priority. Babycare shouldn’t be a chore – but if you’re doing it all the time, with little help and no breaks, that’s what it will become. Arrange for a babysitter to watch your baby while you go for a walk or a session at the beauty salon, or ask a family member for friend to take over for a while. It doesn’t have to be a long period of time – even a half hour to soak in the tub or red the newspaper without being disturbed will make you feel happier.
It’s important that your baby is exposed to the full range of human emotions – even the negative ones – as she will need to learn how to deal with them as she grows and encounters a wider variety of people outside of her family unit. And tapping into how your baby reacts to you also can help you to figure out just what it is you’re doing to make her so cranky. However, severe
postpartum depression can impact severely on your emotional connection with your baby. If your postpartum ‘baby blues’ aren’t going away and you feel a sense of hopelessness and defeat, it is vital that you talk to your doctor.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 07/08/2009
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