Support from your partner

One of the most common complaints from new moms is that they feel unsupported by their partners. This may be to do with the fact that often it’s the father who returns to work first, leaving the mother to deal with what feels like around-the-clock baby care.

In many countries, a new mom has the support of another female relative for the first month at least, but unless you‘re lucky enough to have family nearby you may have to go it alone as you try to adjust to life with a new baby. It’s vital that you both do your share – but UK research suggests half of all fathers ‘hardly ever’ or ‘never’ get up in the night to tend to their crying babies, and six out of 10 of the moms in the study said they resented their male partner for not doing so.

If this is the case with your relationship you need to confront it, as being the one who has to deal with all the broken nights can cause a lot of resentment. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, then maybe you could negotiate for your partner to do the night feeds and deal with any waking on Friday and Saturday night, to give you a break. A crying baby in the wee small hours of the morning can be difficult to deal with alone and teamwork ought to be the order of the day. If you don't address important issues like this, strain on the relationship will become apparent.

There are, of course, other ways that your partner can support you and these are not always practical. Sometimes, just having the emotional support of someone around you is very important. If you have a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, you’ll be able to meet your day-to-day challenges with much more ease and confidence, so make sure you tell your partner what you need from him – and above all, try to make sure you make time for each other.

Why not chat to other moms about this, or other topics, by leaving a message on our chat forum? Alternately, if you want to meet other moms in your area with similar age babies, visit our people section to find out what’s happening in your area, or join or start one of our groups. If you have any unanswered questions, use our questions page to get tips from other moms or our resident experts for all those pregnancy or baby-related niggles.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.