Support from your partner
One
of the most common complaints from new moms is that they feel unsupported by
their partners. This may be to do with the fact that often it’s the father who
returns to work first, leaving the mother to deal with what feels like
around-the-clock baby care.
In
many countries, a new mom has the support of another female relative for the
first month at least, but unless you‘re lucky enough to have family nearby you
may have to go it alone as you try to adjust to life with a new baby. It’s vital that you both do
your share – but UK research suggests half of all fathers ‘hardly ever’ or
‘never’ get up in the night to tend to their crying babies, and six out of 10
of the moms in the study said they resented their male partner for not doing
so.
If
this is the case with your relationship you need to confront it, as being the
one who has to deal with all the broken nights can cause a lot of resentment.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, then maybe you could negotiate for your partner
to do the night feeds and deal with any waking on Friday and Saturday night, to
give you a break. A crying baby in the wee small hours of the morning can be
difficult to deal with alone and teamwork ought to be the order of the day. If
you don't address important issues like this, strain on the relationship will
become apparent.
There
are, of course, other ways that your partner can support you and these are not
always practical. Sometimes, just having the emotional support of someone
around you is very important. If you have a sympathetic shoulder to cry on,
you’ll be able to meet your day-to-day challenges with much more ease and
confidence, so make sure you tell your partner what you need from him – and
above all, try to make sure you make time for each other.
Why
not chat to other moms about this, or other topics, by leaving a message on our
chat
forum?
Alternately, if you want to meet other moms in your area with similar age
babies, visit our people section to find out what’s
happening in your area, or join or start one of our groups. If you have any unanswered
questions, use our questions page to get tips from other
moms or our resident experts for all those pregnancy or baby-related niggles.
The information in this feature is intended for
educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the
health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a
doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 20/06/2007
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