Unexpected pregnancy: how to adjust
It’s thought that around three million women have an unexpected or unplanned pregnancy each year in the US. If you had been trying for a baby for many years and been told you couldn’t conceive naturally due to fertility problems, you will likely be over the moon to find out that you’re expecting a baby.
But if you hadn’t planned on being a parent for some time, or already have children but felt your family was complete, it will take some getting used to – especially if your finances aren’t ideally suited to an addition to your family. And if you do already have children, you also may have to think about space, as well as all the factors that come with pregnancy and caring for a newborn.
Unexpected pregnancy and your emotions
It’s a time when you need to think clearly about what you want to do. You may feel scared and confused, so lean on your family and friends for support. Your doctor, rabbi or minister may also be a source of support. They can offer advice and encouragement if you are debating whether to keep your baby and raise her alone if you aren’t in a relationship, or offer her up for adoption.
It’s also important to remember that even if a baby is much-wanted it is common to feel ambivalent about being pregnant and becoming a parent. The fact is that these are huge life changes – physical, emotional and practical – and it’s natural to feel anxious about them and to take time to adjust to the shift in identity that accompanies becoming a mom. You’ll likely panic over pregnancy symptoms, your unborn baby’s wellbeing and development, who you will be as a mom, your relationship, your loss of independence and maybe how becoming a parent might impact on your career prospects. If you don’t already have children these fears will be unknown fears, and the
emotional ups and downs that come with pregnancy hormones won’t help. Try to focus on the fact that none of these issues will necessarily impact on how you manage as a mom, and none of them is likely to influence how you feel about your baby.
Unexpected pregnancy and practicalities
The fact your baby wasn’t planned may well mean that you haven’t been taking as good care of yourself nutritionally and physically as you might have if you had actively been trying for a baby. You might also indulge in potentially harmful habits such as
smoking and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. You may also have taken
medications that you fear could have harmed your baby. Don’t panic about these. If you have found out fairly far along in your first trimester (weeks 0-12) that you are pregnant, talk to your OB-GYN or midwife about any concerns you may have for your baby’s health. Prenatal checks will hopefully reassure you that all is well.
Once you do find out you are pregnant it is vital that you take steps to ensure your unborn baby’s wellbeing. The very first thing you need to do is to start taking a 600mcg daily supplement of
folic acid (the synthetic version of folate), which has been shown to and reduce the risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida.
Lifestyle factors are important.
Your diet now you’re pregnant
Don’t go all-out to pack on the pounds – it’s the quality of what you eat that counts, not the quantity. Focus on these nutritional must-haves…
Protein
This is vital to sustain your baby’s growth and development. Sources include lean red meat, poultry, pulses, beans, soybeans, tofu, eggs and cheese.
Fiber
Pregnancy hormones that relax your muscles and ligaments can have the same effect on your digestive tract and many women report constipation in pregnancy. Eating plenty of fiber (via whole grains and fruit and veg) can help you avoid this.
Carbohydrates
These are important as a source of energy that will help your baby to grow. Avoid refined carbs (white bread, rice and pasta) in favor of unrefined – wholegrain cereal and bread, brown rice and fruit and veg.
Folate
This B vitamin is crucial for the healthy development of your baby’s brain and spinal cord The best food sources are leafy green vegetables such as spinach and kale, broccoli, citrus fruits, lentils, brown rice and chickpeas.
Calcium
This mineral is crucial for the development of your baby’s teeth and bones, and there’s some evidence it might help relieve leg cramps, which are common in pregnancy. Vitamin D is essential for effective calcium absorption and is manufactured by the body with exposure to sunlight. If you live in northern climes that don’t see much sun, or you cover up for religious reasons, you may be deficient, so talk to your healthcare provider about supplementing it.
Iron
You need this to ensure a good supply of red blood cells, which transport oxygen to your baby and your own muscles and organs. Natural sources include lean red meat, wholegrain bread and cereal, kidney beans, spinach and dried fruits. Vitamin C increases iron absorption, so drink OJ with your iron-rich meal; tea (which contains tannin) inhibits iron absorption and should be avoided if possible. Vegetarians may be more prone to anemia (iron deficiency), especially in the later stages of pregnancy, as iron derived from plant sources is harder for the body to process. Your OB-GYN or nurse-midwife may advise you take a supplement.
Vitamin C
This is essential for the development of your baby’s skin, bones and tendons. It helps tissue repair itself and heightens your body’s resistance to infection. It also helps your body to absorb iron properly. The best food sources of vitamin C are citrus fruits, broccoli, tomatoes, spinach and potatoes.
Vitamin B12
This helps our bodies process folate and also assists in making red blood cells and keeping the nervous system healthy. It’s found in poultry, red meat, liver, fish, cheese, yeast and eggs. Getting enough can be a challenge for vegetarians and vegans, so take a prenatal supplement that contains this vitamin.
Vitamin B6
This aids your baby’s overall development and may help ease morning sickness during the first trimester. The best dietary sources of B6 are salmon, eggs, green leafy vegetables, watermelons, bananas, soy beans, peanuts, milk, potatoes, bread, beef, liver, pork and some fortified breakfast cereals.
Vitamin A
Get this via its vegetable source (beta-carotene), which is present in carrots, dairy products, leafy green vegetables and sweet potatoes.
Fluids
Water, herbal teas and unsweetened natural fruit juices are essential to ensure you’re well hydrated. It’s likely you’ll be thirstier than before and it’s important not to let yourself dehydrate, as this can make you feel tired, dizzy and hungry, as well as increasing the risk of headaches. Fluids to avoid are caffeine containing tea, coffee, soda and, of course, alcohol.
Foods to avoid
While you’re pregnant your immune system functions at a slightly lower level than normal, so you can be at risk from infections passed on through food. It is best to avoid these foods while pregnant…
- Mold-ripened soft cheeses such Brie and Camembert, blue-veined cheeses, such as Stilton, and cheese made from unpasteurized sheep or goats’ milk, as these can all cause listeria, an infection that can harm your baby.
- Shark, swordfish, king mackerel, marlin, grouper, orange roughy and tilefish, as all are high in mercury. While albacore tuna is high in mercury and should be avoided, it is safe to eat light tuna although you should limit it to one fresh steak or two cans a week. Avoid sushi that contains raw fish, and raw or undercooked shellfish such as oysters, mussels, cold prawns and crab.
- Undercooked eggs, as eggs can contain salmonella.
- Undercooked meat, which can cause toxoplasmosis, listeria and salmonella. Eat steak well done for the next nine months, and avoid smoked and deli meats. Liver contains high-levels of the retinol form of vitamin A, which can be harmful to your developing baby, so steer clear of it. Some fish oil supplements can contain liver of fish, so check the ingredients first.
- Unwashed salads as these can carry listeria or toxoplasmosis. Wash packaged pre-washed salads too, as a precaution.
- Limit your caffeine consumption to 300mg a day max (roughly three cups of standard coffee, six cups of tea or eight cans of cola), as excessive amounts have been linked with miscarriage. Bear in mind too that many energy drinks contain caffeine, and that it’s in chocolate too.
Prenatal care
Getting your pregnancy care sorted out is vital. You can receive prenatal care from either an obstetrician (OB-GYN) or nurse-midwife, and whichever you choose will also attend you at the birth of your baby.
Think carefully about what kind of birth you’d like before opting for one of other. If you feel more reassured by the idea of having your baby in hospital choose OB-GYN care – but keep in mind that you’ll probably have a more medically managed birth. If you’d like a natural birth, consider a nurse-midwife, who may either work in a birthing center, which can be independent or attached to your hospital’s labor and delivery unit or can attend you at home if you’re planning a home birth. Research shows that women who have their babies with a nurse-midwife in attendance are less likely to have medical interventions and problems during their recovery.
Schedule your first prenatal check in the first six to eight weeks of your pregnancy. It’ll be the longest prenatal checkup you have through your pregnancy, assuming you have no complications. Get clued into your family medical history as your OB-GYN or midwife will ask you about this. You will also find out what kinds of prenatal tests are available to you.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 14/09/2009