How your baby learns by imitating you

From day one, your new baby is born to learn – and one way in which she does this is by imitating the things that you do.

Your newborn may not seem to interact with you at all, but she is born with an irrepressible urge to learn and be social. Imitating you is her main tool, both for 3 with you and finding out what she’s capable of. And as she grows, you’ll notice that while she may start out simply copying what you do, she will gradually realize that the actions and expressions you’re making actually have meaning – and this is when she will start to express herself independently.

A born mimic

Try this test with your newborn: place your face close to hers – her vision isn’t yet strong enough to see objects more than eight inches away from her face – and slowly poke out your tongue at her. After doing this a few times you will find that your baby pokes her tongue out at you. Now try blinking your eyes very slowly… and sure enough, after a few minutes she will do the same.

Is it just a coincidence – or has she really registered what you’re doing and intentionally copied you? Experts are divided over whether this is actually your baby’s first form of communication that doesn’t involve loud crying! Studies on eight-week-old babies showed that in imitating a person’s actions, babies memorize that person’s face. Babies were placed in a crib and a stranger peered in at them and poked out his tongue at them several times. The next day the same person glanced in at the babies without poking out his tongue. However, the babies did, indicating that they remembered him. In contrast, they didn’t react in this way when looking at a different person they hadn’t seen before.

How will you work out whether your baby is copying you? The answer is that you don’t have to – what’s most important is that you will be convinced that it is, because it’s your continuing input and attention that is the key to helping develop her mimicry skills to a level where she really is socializing with you.

Social smiling

As your baby becomes more and more aware of how she can move and control her facial muscles in order to copy you, you’ll see her mimicking your facial expressions. It helps if you use exaggerated expressions when you look at her – raise your eyebrows high in mock surprise; give her a huge smile; form a big ‘ooohhh’ with your lips. Your baby is watching you all the time, and registering what you do.

By the time she’s around five or six weeks old, all your efforts will really pay off when she smiles at you for the first time. Up to then, she may have made a facial ‘grimace’ that resembled a smile, but the general consensus among experts is that these early smiles are more likely due to wind rather than a desire to communicate pleasure! But she has spent over a month seeing you smile at her and when she really mimics a proper smile and sees your joyous reaction, it reinforces the idea that she can make you happy by imitating what you do.

Clap hands…

Before your baby learns to express herself vocally, your main way of communicating will be non-vocal, using facial expressions and gestures. She’ll only be able to do this if she has a clear view of what you’re doing so that she can mimic your actions.

With anything you do – shaking and nodding your head; pointing; waving; clapping along to a nursery rhyme such as Pat-a-cake; reaching out your arms to her as you bend to pick her up – make sure that she can see you. Exaggerate every gesture and soon you’ll see her begin to imitate what you’re doing. In order for her to work out that these gestures have meaning, she needs to copy you and get an immediate result. If she sees you point at a toy and then she copies you, give her the toy straightaway. If she waves at you, return the gesture. If she reaches up to be cuddled, pick her up. That way, she learns that imitating mommy is well worthwhile.

Sounding off

By around three months, your baby will learn that she can express herself vocally but at first she’ll be merely playing with sounds. If you respond to her she will imitate you, learning how to shape her lips and use her tongue to make the first sounds that will eventually lead to words. Use expression when you make sounds, not just anonymous noises – surprise; delight; sadness. It’s not just the sounds but the intonation that she’ll imitate. She needs to see how your lips move when you form words, so keep your face close to hers. Keep sentences short and use simple sounds and words that she’ll understand – things she sees every day, such as ‘mommy’, ‘daddy’, ‘cat’, ‘ball’. The more you talk to her the more she’ll imitate you and the faster her vocal skills will develop. 

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.