Are you ready for a baby ?...... and some lifestyle changes?

You may be physically fit and ready for a baby, but are you mentally ready? If you and your partner are going through any sort of fertility treatment, it’s going to be tough for both of you. For the person who has fertility problems, there will be a certain amount of guilt, and some of the procedures you have to go through will be long and complex. The strain on your relationship will be immense, especially if you are considering egg or sperm donation or adoption. The best you can do is support each other thoroughly throughout the process, and never blame one another if things go wrong. There are support groups and counselors who can guide you through tough times, and you’ll meet plenty of couples experiencing the same problems as you, (and plenty more with happy endings). Don't forget you can also meet other parents on our fertility chat forum.

Before you start trying for a baby, it’s a good idea to ask yourself some simple questions that will help prepare you for changing times ahead…

Are you both equally committed to becoming parents?

?If one of you wants a baby more than the other it may be worth waiting a year till you both feel ready. A baby WILL change the way you live you life, and if sacrifices are made willingly, and decisions made together your family unit will be stronger.

Are you ready to give up the lifestyle you are used to?

This is especially important if there is an age difference between you. Have you done all the things you imagined you would do before a baby came along, such as traveling or owning your own home? Is your career at a point which will enable you to have a baby and go back to work? Men who travel a lot for work may find it hard to give support to their partner and new baby when they need him most.

Will your religious differences get in the way?

?You and your partner may have very different ideas about the religion of future children and how they should be brought up. There are discussions you may need to have before you conceive, regarding circumcision, christenings and possibly even faith-based schools.

Are you in tune with each other?

Have you ever had a discussion about what you imagine your family to be like in the future? If your partner has always wanted four children while you’d be happy with one, it needs some serious thought and discussion.

Are you prepared for the possibility you may have a child with special needs, or that you might have to have fertility treatment in the future?

Discuss what course of action you’d both feel comfortable taking if you were told your baby had a disability or that you might not be able to conceive naturally.

Have you discussed childcare responsibilities?

Who will work and who will look after the children? Will you have substantial time off? Are you both prepared for the fact that other people might have to take care of your child

Are your finances in order?

Having children is an expensive business and you might be juggling childcare costs with running your home. If you are a woman who worked for most of her adult life, are you prepared for losing your financial independence and your partner supporting you for a while?

Why not visit our fertility chat forum pages to talk to others considering pregnancy, or to meet parents of young children.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.

Related Articles

Last Modified: 03/05/2007

Send to a friend

becoming parents ready for a baby