Baby gender explained: boys or girls
You know how it is: you’ve spent several years knee deep in a sea of pink frills, braids and dolls, and your partner is longing for a little tyke he can take to Monster Truck Mash and watch the game with. Or you’re surrounded by blue, buzzcuts, superheroes and lightsabers and yearn for a little angel whose hair you can style!
If you already have more than one child of the same gender it’s common to feel your family won’t really be complete until you have one of the other. It often can cause disappointment and sadness if you don’t get what you want, especially if family and friends pass comments about it. It also can lead to couples having yet more babies they can’t really afford in the hope of scoring the one they really want, and may affect your relationship with your baby if she or he isn’t the boy or girl you hoped for.
How is baby gender decided?
It’s really down to your partner. While your egg contains only X (female) chromosomes, your partner’s sperm contain equal numbers of either an X or a Y (male) chromosome. If an X-chromosome fertilizes your egg your baby will be XX: a girl. If a Y-sperm fertilizes your egg, your baby will be XY: a boy.
It may be possible to use this information to your advantage when it comes to trying to
influence your baby’s gender naturally. Male sperm is thought to be speedier than female sperm, but female sperm survive for longer. Therefore, if you have sex on the day you
ovulate (use gurgle’s
ovulation calculator to help you pinpoint the day) you may be able to increase your chances of conceiving a boy because the faster male sperm will be ahead of the pack just as your egg is released, so may be more likely to fertilize it. On the other hand, it you have sex a day or two before you’re due to ovulate, you may be more likely to conceive a girl because the male sperm will have died off, leaving only female sperm still alive to fertilize your egg. Keep in mind that there is very little scientific backing for this method of sex selection though many couples swear by it.
What are the odds of all boys or all girls?
Statistics show that in fact couples have around a 50/50 chance of having a boy or girl with their next baby, regardless of the gender of their previous children. We say around 50/50 because the odds are slightly more in favor of boys: a 51 percent chance. Figures show that for every 100 girls born there are around 105 boys although the reasons aren’t clear. Some experts believe it’s because baby boys are more vulnerable – statistics do indicate that baby boys are more at risk of dying during their first year, so this may be Mother Nature’s way of giving them a head start. But it may be down to the male sperm swimming faster and thus reaching the egg first.
There are some data showing that if you have three boys your chances of having another boy are slightly higher. But translated into ‘real life’ this means the odds of having another baby boy are still just two to six percent higher than they were when you were expecting your first baby. So don’t panic: you still have a chance of conceiving that baby girl you’ve longed for. In fact, the larger your family is the more likely it is to be mixed gender – although that doesn’t mean you won’t end up with 10 boys or 10 girls! Interestingly, the odds of having a boy seem to increase after having had a girl, although if you’ve had two girls your third baby is more likely to be another girl than a boy.
Handling disappointment
Couples have a preference for many reasons, and often it isn’t just a matter of wanting to ‘balance’ their family by adding a boy of girl to the mix or feeling that they might miss out if they don’t have the experience of raising a boy after girls or a girl after boys. It’s common for moms to feel that they might have difficulty relating to a baby of the opposite sex, especially if they’ve only had girls before. On the other hand, if you were raised as the only girl in a family of boys and are something of a tomboy yourself, you might not feel that you’ll be able to embrace your baby girl’s femininity and do ‘girly’ stuff together.
While you can’t simply wish away your hopes, trying to think about the positive aspects of having either gender can help you cope with any feelings of disappointment that may come with finding out your baby isn’t that much-wanted boy or girl. After all, you can do the very same activities with both a boy or girl.
You’ll have the option of
finding out your baby’s sex at your
ultrasound scan and if you do have a strong preference for one gender it might be a good idea to ask, so that if your you can have time to come to terms. This can help avoid bonding problems that may occur if you find out at the birth that that baby girl you longed for is another boy, and vice versa.
If you feel so disappointed that it is in danger of affecting how you feel about your pregnancy and your impending baby, it may help to talk to a counselor who specializes in pregnancy and postpartum issues – your OB-GYN or midwife may be able to recommend one.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
Related Articles
Last Modified: 01/03/2009
Related Chat
You'll need to be logged in to post new Comments and Answers or to Chat.
Login or
Register