What they don’t tell you about giving birth
Things you need to know but might not be told
Every woman’s experience of birth is different but one thing is for sure: having a baby isn’t anything like it is in films. And although watching reality TV shows dedicated to childbirth can give you more of an idea of what you’re likely to experience, they often present a ‘medicalised’ viewpoint that might not be the kind of birth you want for you and your baby.
Talking to other mums can help but it’s often hard for other mums to be objective if their birth didn’t go smoothly. And if they had a birth experience that’s the total opposite to what you plan they won’t really be able to advise you. With that in mind, here’s gurgle’s round-up of things you need to know but might not be told…
First-time births can take hours
In movies the mum-to-be is loaded into the car at the first twinge. However, if this is your first baby, it could take a good six or seven hours for things to really get moving after those first early contractions. You’re not really in what’s considered ‘established labour’ until your cervix has dilated to 2cm or more and that can take many hours. Keeping upright and active can help speed things along – but if you go to the hospital too soon you may well find yourself lying on your back and being monitored.
Your waters breaking isn’t always like Niagara Falls
While it’s true that some mums-to-be experience a deluge when their waters break, most pregnant women experience it as a slow trickle. This is because your baby’s head can prevent most of the amniotic fluid from escaping. Many women at full-term have problems with urine leakage and it’s easy to mistake a little stress incontinence for your waters breaking – and vice versa (you can now buy kits that will identify if any fluid loss is urine or amniotic fluid).
Your waters can break at any stage of labour – so, just like with those early twinges, it doesn’t necessarily mean the birth is imminent. However, it is important that you give birth within 24 hours or so of it happening, since there is a risk of infection entering the uterus when your waters break. If you’re at all unsure whether your waters have broken, get it checked out by your midwife.
It’s messy!
Yup, you’ll have seen all those movie and soap opera births where the heroine does it in full make-up and barely breaks a sweat. And you’ll have seen those adorable right-after-the-birth snaps of the proud parents with Junior, mum looking a tad tired but none the worse for wear.
The clue is in the bedsheet pulled up to chest level – it hides what most likely looks like a scene from CSI. Giving birth is messy, to the extent that when you hear that first cry you’ll be lying in a mini-swamp of sweat, amniotic fluid, blood and, possibly, poo. Pooing while you push is normal and actually signals that you’re pushing properly. Don’t dwell on it happening: push when you’re told to with all your might. If you do have an accident it will get cleaned away with no comment – your midwife is likely see it all the time and won’t think any the worse of you.
Inductions don’t always work
If your baby goes past his due date it’s likely your doctor will want to induce labour. This is because the placenta doesn’t work so efficiently near the end of pregnancy, and there is a risk it may not adequately nourish and support your baby. There are several methods of induction and your doctor will progress to the next strongest method if the previous attempt doesn’t work. However, it is possible that all attempts to induce labour might fail to work, possibly because your baby isn’t actually full-term at all.
Your baby’s gestational age is calculated using the date of your last menstrual period (LMP) and you baby’s measurements. However, given that women typically ovulate around two weeks after their LMP, your baby could be two weeks younger than your dates suggest. If you haven’t yet reached 42 weeks (there’s evidence that first-timers typically go ten days past their due date), be cautious about any suggestions that you might need to be induced unless there is evidence your baby isn’t doing as well as he should or that the volume of amniotic fluid in your uterus isn’t what it should be.
An epidural can be risky
They’re a common form of pain relief and many women swear by epidurals for transforming what had been a distressingly painful experience into one they could relax through and enjoy.
Epidurals work most of the time – but sometimes they don’t. Rarely they may only take effect on one side of your body, which means you’ll feel the pain of your contractions on the other side. There is also a possibility that the anaesthetic may mistakenly be injected into your bloodstream (more likely if you’re quite far along in your labour and aren’t able to keep still for the epidural to be administered). This can cause a severe headache afterwards.
Keep in mind that although an epidural has the very clear benefit of making your labour virtually pain-free and giving you the opportunity to get some rest if it’s progressing slowly, having one means you’ll be confined to a hospital bed, flat on your back. This can slow down your labour to the extent that you may need to be given further drugs to get your contractions going again. They can also interfere with your ability to feel when you push, making assisted delivery and Caesarean more likely.
You won’t feel the episiotomy
Many women dread the thought of having an episiotomy (a cut to enlarge the vaginal opening so your baby can pass through). These are only performed when absolutely necessary – and reassure yourself with the thought that if haven’t had an epidural, it’ll be done at the very height of a contraction so you won’t feel it.
Up and at ’em is better
The trouble with most of those birth reality shows is that they normalise the idea that you need to lie flat on your back on the bed to give birth. In fact, as long as all is well with your labour and your baby, the opposite is generally better. Keeping upright and mobile means that gravity can work alongside your contractions to help your baby descend the birth canal. Walking, rocking your hips and concentrating on your breathing really can help with the pain – so give it a try before you ask for that epidural because you may find you cope just fine.
You’ll bleed heavily afterwards
Prepare for very heavy bleeding and large clots for several days after the birth, even if you have a Caesarean. You will likely need to wear more than one maternity pad and experience a gushing sensation each time you stand, especially in the 24 hours immediately following the birth. This bleeding is perfectly normal – it comes from the site where the placenta was attached to the uterine wall. It eases off to a brownish discharge by three to four weeks after the birth – if it eases off and then becomes heavy again, or bright red, contact your doctor or midwife immediately as this could signal that a portion of the placenta is still in your uterus. And stick to pads, as there is a remote possibility that inserting a tampon could force air up into your uterus and into your bloodstream via the healing placental site, which could be dangerous.
Caesareans aren’t the easy option
A Caesarean is a major surgical procedure that involves cutting through skin, muscles and fat to access your baby. Your recovery may be very painful and will interfere with your ability to care for your baby and any other children you have, and with nursing. Don’t be too posh to push – assuming you have the option of delivering your baby vaginally it really is the best and safest option for you both.
Breastfeeding can hurt at first
Breastfeeding is best for your baby and we strongly urge you to at least give it a try as opposed to stocking the pantry with formula milk in the weeks leading up to the birth. Breast milk gives your baby the very best start in life. But there’s no doubt that nursing can hurt at first as you get used to latching your baby onto the breast properly.
The key is to get all the help and advice you can about how to correctly position yourself and your baby. The vast majority of breastfeeding problems can be easily solved and far too many mums give up at the first hurdle. If you can hang on in there for the first couple of days and give yourself a chance to learn the technique it will make caring for your newborn so much easier if you don’t have to prepare bottles.
You can do it!
The medicalised version of birth we go through today often blinds us to the fact that our bodies were designed for delivering babies. Technology is great for back-up, don’t get us wrong – but try not to let it give you the impression that you can’t succeed without it. By all means, use what’s on offer if you need to – if complications arise it can save lives. But never lose sight of the fact that you can do this. You have the power!
The information on this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
Published August 2008
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Last Modified: 25/08/2008