The truth about those scary birth stories
Once you tell family and friends that you’re pregnant, any who’s had children will be lining up to tell you birth horror stories.
As your due date approaches these might prey on your mind, adding to your natural concerns over the sheer impossibility of pushing an entire baby out of ‘down there’.
The way to approach those scary birth stories is with a shovelful of rationality. Accept that birth often doesn’t go to plan – but be reassured by the fact that the vast majority of babies are born without incident. Listen to those scary birth stories if you must – but think carefully about why things might have gone that way for your relative or friend, and calm yourself with the thought that complications won’t necessarily happen to you. And above all, prepare for your own delivery by finding out as much as you can about the processes of labour – this can arm you with the techniques that can best help you avoid complications. So what are the scary birth stories you’re most likely to hear – and how can you learn from them without panicking?
“I was in labour for days”
Yes this can happen in some cases. First labours tend to take longer – after all, you’re in uncharted territory with your first baby. Plus, not having gone through the experience of labour may well mean you’re so tense and anxious that you simply forget the labour techniques that can speed things up and get your contractions working efficiently to move that baby out of there. That said, the average labour is 12-15 hours for most first-time mums-to-be, and with second and subsequent babies, it speeds up.
Keeping as
upright and active as you can will help you avoid this birth scenario. It enables your contractions to work more effectively and also brings gravity into the equation. Walk around, use your
controlled breathing techniques, and rock and rotate your hips to help ease the pain of your contractions. As you near the point of the delivery, leaning over the bed and focusing on breathing in the gas and air can help take the edge of strong contractions. It should also be possible to stay in an upright position if you’re having a
water birth – kneel or squat, while leaning over the side of the birth pool.
“The pain was unbelievable”
We’re not going to lie to you and deny this one – although your perception of the pain does depend on your individual pain threshold and if it’s fairly high you might well be surprised at just how much you can bear. But do hold on to the fact that it’s only in the final hours of your labour that your contractions strengthen to the extent that they’re this painful. That friend who tells you she had a 24-hour labour and then says it was agony will probably have found the pain perfectly manageable for the first three quarters of her labour.
Most labouring women start out using
gas and air to help relieve the pain of their contractions, but if you feel at any time that you need stronger pain relief, ask for it – it’s nothing to be ashamed of and no one is going to think any the worse of you for not being able to cope with full-strength contractions. In fact, those women who do without will probably have every sympathy with you, since they will know how bad it can get. But do keep in mind that having pethidine or an epidural does mean you’ll be less able to stay mobile and that being confined to bed may slow down your labour and raise the chance that your baby will need help to be born.
“I needed a blood transfusion afterwards”
A shot while after your baby is born, your uterus contracts again to expel the
placenta. This results in
bleeding from what’s called the placental site – the area where the placenta was attached to the wall of the uterus. The uterus continues to contract after the placenta is delivered, in order to seal the blood vessels where the placenta was attached (you’ll feel
afterpains in the days following the birth as this happens –
breastfeeding can bring them on, as it causes the release of hormones that stimulate the uterus to contract).
For most women, bleeding (called lochia) continues for four to six weeks after the birth, easing off as the uterus contracts back down to its pre-pregnancy size. However, occasionally this doesn’t go to plan and the uterus is unable to contract effectively to seal the blood vessels. This usually occurs because not all the placenta has come away (your midwife will examine yours closely to ensure it is complete). It can result in a haemorrhage after the birth – a giveaway sign is a steady trickle of blood that soaks through a sanitary pad in less than an hour. You may also pass blood clots. Your midwife will monitor your bleeding after your baby is delivered and in rare cases, if it is heavy enough, you may need a blood transfusion and a D&C to remove any part of the placenta that is still in your uterus.
“They hauled my baby out with forceps”
Some babies do
need help to be born. This may be necessary if she’s in an
awkward position (such as back-to back, when your contractions may not be sufficient to turn her into the ideal back-to-front position for delivery) or if you’ve had a long labour and are too tired to push out your baby by yourself. An assisted delivery is also more likely if you have had an epidural. As you near the final stages of labour, your midwife will allow your epidural to tail off in order that you can feel your contractions and push as they occur. However, if you reach this point before the epidural wears off you may not be able to feel when to push.
If you’re not pushing effectively your baby may not make enough progress along the birth canal, and at this point, your obstetrician may recommend the use of forceps (metal tongs that resemble salad servers) or a ventouse (a rubber suction cup). Both devices are used to ease your baby along the birth canal in time with your contractions, giving you that little bit of extra help when you need it most. Although forceps can leave red marks on your baby’s face and a ventouse will cause her head to have a pointed appearance, these effects will wear off in a few days.
“They had to cut me to get the baby out”
Some women need to have an
episiotomy – a cut in the perineum (the area between the vagina and anus) to enlarge the vaginal opening in order for their baby to pass through. An episiotomy is given as a last resort, if a baby is in distress and needs to be born immediately. It also may be necessary for an assisted delivery with forceps (it’s less likely to be needed for a ventouse delivery).
If you’ve had an epidural you won’t feel the cut; if you haven’t you may be given a local anaesthetic, but because it’s carried out at the height of a contraction right at the moment your baby’s head is crowning you’re unlikely to feel it. Almost straightaway, your baby will be born. You’ll be given a local anaesthetic while you’re stitched, unless you’re still numb from an epidural.
“My stitches were so painful”
This is usually the sequel to that episiotomy horror story. Episiotomy stitches (or stitches you may need if you
tear during labour) can cause a lot of discomfort after the birth, especially if they become infected. Applying an ice pack (a wrapped bag of frozen veg is ideal) can ease the pain, and you can avoid urine from stinging the area by pouring a cup of warm water over the area as you pee.
Starting to do
pelvic floor exercises in the first few hours after the delivery will promote blood circulation in the area, which can help with healing. Keeping clean is vital to prevent bacteria from the rectum from infecting the stitches, so wash the area after each bowel movement and gently pat dry (some women swear by using a hairdryer on the cool setting to dry their stitches).
Your midwife will check your stitches each time she visits you after the birth, to monitor them for signs of infection. If your discomfort is severe or suddenly increases after a period where it wasn’t bothering you, tell your midwife – you may need antibiotics if you develop an infection.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 10/12/2008