Dads: Bonding with your new baby
In those first weeks after baby comes home, many proud dads soon start to feel excluded when it comes to caring for her.
Watching the bond between their child and partner grow, they may feel a sense of rejection or helplessness – how can they possibly start forging a bond with a baby who seems to be so utterly dependent on mommy?
Many dads feel that women ‘instinctively’ know how to look after babies, but this isn’t really the case. For a mom who never had close involvement with looking after younger siblings or relatives, her own baby may well be her first proper experience of one. Your partner is likely to be as clueless as you are about the practicalities of looking after baby, so share the care and find out together.
Get involved from day one
Do your share of diaper-changes, baths and bedtimes right from the start so that you get to know your baby and feel confident looking after her on your own.
Help with feeds
Unless your baby is being exclusively breastfed, you can do some of the feeds yourself. And even if she is being breastfed, don’t forget that once breastfeeding is established, your partner can express some breast milk and you can feed it to your baby from a bottle.
Take the time to read up
Chances are your partner has been devouring books about babies for months, so why not pick one up and have a look through it yourself? If you’re familiar with the whys and hows of baby care, you’ll feel more confident about helping out.
Take baby with you
What better way to get to know your baby than to take her with you as you do some daily chores? Strap her in the sling and get out in the garden or take her shopping with you. Even if your baby is exclusively breastfed, a 20-minute stroll together will give you valuable bonding time as well as give mom a well-earned break.
Don’t be a deaf daddy!
Be prepared to take your turn at getting up to your baby during the night. Even if she’s breastfed you can still lift her out of her crib and take her to your partner, and wind and change her after she has nursed.
Make special time together
Many dads see far less of their new babies than they’d like due to work pressure so make an effort to get involved when you are around, such as at weekends or during vacation periods. Have a special ‘dad and baby’ time at weekends, which can be your special time to do things together, such as going for walks or for a swim – see activities for dads and babies for some ideas.
Learn how to soothe your baby
Don’t fall into the trap of simply handing your baby back to mom when she cries. Daddy can be just as good at soothing babies as mommy, and learning to work out what might be upsetting your baby and how to solve it is the first form of communication between babies and parents. See why do newborns cry? and how to soothe your crying baby for ideas.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.