Potty training
There are probably as many
theories about the best way to potty train your child as there are parents who
have trained their child. What works a treat for one child may have absolutely
no effect whatsoever on another, and in most cases, the key to success is
simply starting at the right time.
This section gives some basic
pointers on potty training but doesn’t attempt to explore all the different
methods, as entire books have been written on the subject!
There are three stages to toilet
training: bladder, bowel and night control. You may be lucky and have a child
who masters all three in one go, but it is likely to be bladder control which
can be mastered first, followed by bowel movements and last of all, being dry
through the night. Being dry at night can occur much later, with some children
of five years old or more still wetting the bed occasionally.
At what age should I start potty training?
Back in the day, when babies
were in bulky fabric diapers that felt uncomfortable the moment they got wet,
it’s not surprising that children were often potty trained by the age of one.
Today’s highly absorbent disposable diapers have removed this motivating factor
to a certain extent but there will still come a time when your child starts to
feel uncomfortable in a wet or soiled diaper. This is the time to start potty
training.
From around 18 months onwards
children start to be able to sense when they need to go to the toilet, although
they often don’t get much advance warning. This tends to improve by the age of
two years, which is when the majority of parents start trying to potty train
their child.
How to start
Potty or toilet?
While many parents start their
children on the potty, you may decide to opt for training your child to use the
toilet from the get-go. If your child will be using the big toilet, then you
will need to invest in a special toilet seat and probably a little step, unless
your toilet is particularly low.
A potty is portable and can be
kept close at hand, which means that your success rate is likely to be higher
than if you have to make regular dashes to the bathroom. It’s also a special
new piece of kit for your child – let them come with you to the shop to help
choose their first potty, and they are more likely to be keen to use it.
The advantage of using the
toilet from the outset, of course, is that you won’t have to make that
transition later on from the potty, which can put some children off. Many
parents try getting their children to use both.
Whether you decide to go for the
toilet or potty option, getting your child feeling comfortable sitting on it is
the first step. To make things easier, you may want to remove their bottom half
of clothing and let them run around in just a t-shirt. Many parents start potty
training in the warmer months of the year – it also means that your children
will probably be outside a lot more and that any accidents that do occur will
be outside rather than in.
Underwear or training pants?
You can go the whole hog and
invest in some nice ‘big kid’ underwear for your child straightaway and this
could be a big incentive to them to succeed at potty training. However, you
will inevitably have accidents to start out with and may decide to go for
training pants. These are halfway between diapers and underwear, with an
absorbent panel to soak up leaks and give children the practice they need in
getting underwear on and off.
As an alternative to training
pants (which can be expensive) it may be cheaper to buy some cheap kids’
underwear at the store – it won’t be as bulky as training pants and will help
your child to feel ‘grown-up’. Remember to carry a spare pair around with you
when you’re out, in case of little accidents.??
Starting to potty train
1. If you can persuade your
child to sit on the potty or toilet for a reasonable amount of time they are
likely to do something before too long, especially if it is after a meal. The
problem can often be getting them to sit on the potty or toilet for long
enough, so try reading them a story or playing a game to pass the time – all
children love being the centre of attention, and having mom or dad’s rapt
attention as they sit on their ‘throne’ will go a long way.
2. If your child doesn’t perform
and is starting to get fidgety and bored, don’t insist on him sitting there
indefinitely. Let him get up and play, but remind him of where the potty is in
case he needs it. If you are moving from room to room, remember to bring it
with you.
3. Watch out for telltale signs
that he needs to go to the toilet – fidgeting, walking strangely etc. Ask him
if he needs to go, and even if he says no, encourage him to try again.
4. Reward success, but make it
clear that this isn’t just a one off – they now have to do this every time they
need to go to the toilet. Some parents make up toilet training reward charts,
where five successful performances in a row, for example, merits a treat.
5. If your child doesn’t make it
to the potty or toilet in time, but nearly got there or had trouble getting
clothes off, reward this as significant progress in the early stages of potty
training.
6. Remember accidents are going
to happen, and don’t get too stressed or depressed if things aren’t working.
The more stressed you are, and the more pressure you put on your child to
perform, the less likely you are to succeed in training them. Potty training
may seem to go on for ever, but in reality it’s a very short period in the
great scheme of your child’s development.
7. Some children are scared they
might fall down the toilet, get flushed away or that something will bite them
(an older sibling may be responsible for this one!). A potty may be best for a
child who fears the toilet at first, then when he is confident he can try the
‘big’ toilet as a treat.
8. It may be easier to
potty-train in the summer when toddlers are wearing less clothes to struggle on
and off with.
Washing hands
Try getting your toddler into
the habit of washing their hands after going to the toilet from an early stage.
Even if you are wiping their bottom for them at the beginning of toilet
training, get them to wash their hands alongside you.
Not ready
If your child is having more
accidents than successes, you may be tempted to abandon potty training for a
month or so and going back to diapers. This is always a difficult call to make
– you may feel that you are so nearly there that going back to diapers will
undo all your hard work so far. However, if you and your child are finding the
process stressful, and you find that you are not making much real progress, it
may be that your child isn’t yet ready, and that another month or so will make
all the difference.
Night training
Once your child is having
several dry diapers in a row, try switching to training pants at night. Make
sure that he empties his bladder right before bedtime and try and avoid giving
a drink of water or milk after this. Don’t give up hope if you have a few wet
nights, but if it continues, again, he may not be ready. Try again in a month’s
time, especially if you start to see dry nappies again in the morning.
Regressing in toilet training
It can happen that a child who
has appeared to be fully potty-trained suddenly starts to have accidents again.
This is sometimes due to a urinary tract infection, which will usually produce
symptoms of pain while urinating, and should be checked out immediately by your
pediatrician. Other causes can be stress-related (for example, parents
separating, moving to a new house, the arrival of a new baby), and in some
cases it may simply be an attempt to gain attention and should be dealt with
gently but firmly. Express your disappointment, and reinforce how pleased you
were with them before when they weren’t having accidents. A little extra
encouragement and attention when they do perform will certainly help, but avoid
extravagant displays of praise. Getting back to where they were before should
not merit the same rewards as achieving something new.
Chat with other moms about their potty training methods...
The information in this feature is intended for
educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the
health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a
doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 11/07/2007