Mealtimes and toddlers

Few things are guaranteed to cause as many fights in the toddler household as mealtimes. The simple act of obtaining nourishment from food can become a battleground where all kinds of power struggles take place, but it needn’t be that way.

Mealtimes tend to cause arguments around two areas: what your child is eating, and how they are eating it. In this article we take a look at encouraging good table manners and making mealtimes easy and fun for everyone.

While it’s important to try and instill good table manners from an early age, try and be reasonable about what to expect from your child and make allowances for small hands. If a bit of unintentional mess is the by-product of meals eaten with gusto, don’t make a fuss about a bit of spilt sauce and a few pasta twists on the floor. If your child enjoys vacuuming peas up with a spoon, don’t insist on him trying to manipulate them into his mouth with a knife and fork. Food is, after all, enjoyable!

- Set a good example – don’t get up in the middle of a meal to answer the phone, for example, and don’t be tempted to walk around with food or drink.

- Try and get rid of potential distractions – turn off the TV and discourage toys at the table.

- Mealtimes aren’t just functional – eating is also a social activity, and it’s no fun doing it alone, especially with someone standing over you and watching. Try where possible to eat with your toddler, and eat what they are eating.

- Give your toddler some choice in the food he eats, such as a choice of sauces or vegetables.

- For fussy eaters, try and make his food interesting – experiment with different arrangements on the plate, make faces or other pictures and interesting combinations of colors – this is particularly useful with vegetables, where you can work artistic wonders with green peas, orange sweet potato and yellow sweetcorn. Try serving food in a different way – kebabs on a skewer (you’ll probably want to remove this for them!) or filled pita breads.

- Find food which your child can help you make – most children love helping to make their own pizza toppings, for example, and enjoy seeing and eating the cooked result!

- Learn to accept that they have had enough, and when they have, encourage them to ask if they can leave the table, rather than just getting down when they feel like it. They will probably enjoy helping you carry the dishes through to the kitchen too, so enlist their help.

When should my child be able to use a knife and fork?

While most children by the age of two and a half are happy with a fork and spoon, mastering the knife and fork together can take some doing. Try introducing foods which are soft and easy to cut up first, or let them experiment with foods which don’t really need cutting up, like mashed potato, just to practice using the two together. Four is a good age to start encouraging your child to try a knife and fork, but don’t force it – it’s not worth turning a happy eater into a miserable one just for the sake of mastering the art of cutlery. Obviously giving your child a sharp knife would be a bad idea so take your child shopping and encourage him to choose his own ‘toddler’ knife and fork for the task.

My child just picks at his food. How can I get him to eat a proper meal?

Some children are naturally picky and just not inclined to chow down on a meal. However even these pickers do not starve, and you may well actually find that they put away much more than you think. However, the thing to avoid is letting your child pick and snack his way continuously through the day, as this will obviously spoil his appetite at mealtimes. Keep snacks to a minimum, and limit his intake of liquids to just water as fruit juices and milk can make him feel full when he isn’t. If your child is a natural grazer, as long as he is getting a balanced diet, however small the amounts he is taking at any one time, don’t force the issue. Try giving him snacks such as raisins which are healthy, don’t spoil his appetite and are fun to eat.

If you have any unanswered questions, use our answers page to gain wisdom from other parents or our resident experts for all those feeding-related niggles.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.

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Last Modified: 02/08/2007

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