Broody Men
You know that feeling when you see a newborn baby and your heart suddenly melts and before you know it you are cooing uncontrollably over this tiny bundle of joy? Only the female of the species feels this sense of broodiness, right? Wrong!
Although men may not have the same sense of a biological clock ticking as women, they too can feel 'broody' - or have an overwhelming desire to have a baby.
So why don't we tend to hear about 'broody' men? Well, mainly because being broody is probably not considered to be a very masculine quality and men who admit to being keen to start a family may worry that they will be laughed at by their family and friends. But the urge to reproduce is a completely normal instinct, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Tradition dictates that it is primarily women that are broody and, because of this, women tend to be the first in a relationship to admit that they want a baby. But what if you are a broody man and your wife or girlfriend isn't ready to have a baby? Many women would jump at the chance of finding a partner as broody as they are, but what if the roles are reversed and you are ready to procreate but your other half is just not ready to become a parent yet? Well, the same rules apply whether the man or woman is broody:
1) Ideally you will have discussed whether you are both keen to have children before you settle down together. There isn't much room for compromise when it comes to having a baby, so if you you are still in the early stages of your relationship (not too early - this isn't a conversation to have on your first date!) it is worth talking to your partner about whether she sees babies in her future.
2) Don't push your partner into having a baby before she is ready. This is an incredibly important decision and she needs to be 100% on board with the idea - especially as she will be the one carrying the baby. Having said that, you also have an equal say in the matter so don't bottle up your feelings. Communication is key; you both need to be open and honest with each other.
3) Listen to your partner and try to be understanding about the reasons why she doesn't feel ready to be a parent yet; perhaps her career is going really well and she still has goals she wants to achieve, or maybe she does not feel emotionally ready for the impact that having a baby will have on her life. If you find that you do often end up arguing when you bring up the 'b' word (that could be either broody or baby!), you might find it helpful to attend couples counselling together.
4) Try to reach a compromise. If you both want children at some point, this is definitely a starting point. Now you have to agree on when. It's well documented that women's fertility rapidly declines after the age of 35, so if your partner is already nearing that age it is important she realises she might find it more difficult to conceive. Having said this, it's important that she doesn't feel rushed; when to try for a baby is not a decision that can be made overnight. As well as talking to your partner about when you should start trying to conceive, it's also important that you give her time and space to give it some serious consideration.
5) Once you have reached a compromise, it's time to start planning ahead - not just for the pregnancy but for what will happen once your child is born. If it is you, rather than your partner, that is the broody one you may both want to consider the possibility of you staying at home with your baby while she returns to work. You can read our feature on Stay-at-home dads: a growing trend for more information
For more tips, read our feature on I'm ready to have a baby, but my partner isn't. To learn more about your fertility, you can read Fertility and Men and for some tips on how to increase your chances of conceiving, why not have a look at Healthy Diet guide for a dad-to-be and The good sleep fertility guide for men and women?
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 18/06/2009
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