Single parents
Whatever your route into single parenthood, be it through divorce, separation or the death of a partner, single parents face a very different set of challenges to those who are entering parenthood as part of a couple.
Being a single parent carries with it a burden of responsibility which can at times seem overwhelming – not only do you not have anyone to help with the practical aspects of parenthood, but you don’t have anyone with whom you can share the emotional highs and lows of the parenting experience either. It can at times seem a very lonely and unfulfilling journey, but you’re not alone.
Survival techniques
Many single parents feel very isolated, in a world which appears to be full of happy couples with their 2.4 children. It’s easy to get stuck into a rut which isn’t helpful for you or for your children, so here are some coping strategies which single parents have found useful.:
- Try to meet other parents in the same situation. Find out about single parent groups in your area – a good place to start is by asking your pediatrician. Remember that there are other people in your situation, and meeting them and discussing the problems you face can help relieve the isolation and frustration. There are quite a few websites now which have a networking facility to help you find other single parents in your area. Don’t forget you can create or join a club using gurgle’s groups. Why not start your own single parenting group or search to see if there are any groups in your area?
- Help your support network to help you. Don’t feel bad about telling your family and friends if you’re feeling low. Chances are they’ll want to help but aren’t sure how they can best do it, so give them constructive suggestions rather than waiting for them to come to you. Similarly, take on board their suggestions – they don’t have to be single parents themselves to understand your situation or be able to offer help and advice.
- A lot of single parents find the weekend is the hardest time of the week, as friends who are one half of a couple tend to spend that time together with their family. It’s common to find yourself at a loose end, alone with the children. Be open about this dilemma with your family and friends but try to be proactive and constructive in your approach – invite people to come and visit you, for example, or suggest a group outing or picnic somewhere.
- Make time for yourself. It’s inevitable that as a single parent you’re going to be working doubly hard to look after your children – but it’s imperative that you make time for yourself too. Make the effort to get out on your own with friends, if you can arrange childcare – if you’re sharing custody of your children, use the time they’re with your ex-partner to do something constructive and fun. Don’t neglect your own interests and don’t necessarily let parenthood be the driving force in your life – look into adult education classes in your area, or try joining a local interest group to both boost your social life and develop your interests.
- Don’t shy away from couple-oriented situations. Many single parents find it very hard to mix with other couples and their children, and avoid this kind of situation. Similarly, it has to be said that some couples are uncertain about inviting single parents, be they male or female, to family-centered occasions. This can create a ‘them and us’ scenario, which isn’t helpful for single parents, so be the one to make the first move and break down the barriers.
Why not chat to other moms about being a single parent, or about other topics, by leaving a message on our chat forum? Alternately, if you want to meet other moms in your area with similar age babies, visit our people section to find out what’s happening in your area, or join or start one of our groups. The Single Parents Network (www.singleparentsnetwork.com) is also a useful resource.
If you have any unanswered questions, use our questions page to gain wisdom from other moms or our resident experts for all those pregnancy or baby-related niggles. Also, have a look at our Kit section where we list our top-rated baby equipment.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 02/08/2007