A baby at any cost?

In today’s society, an increasing number of women are leaving it until their late thirties to have children so they can pursue a career before starting a family.

Great in theory – as long as you meet Mr Right along the way and are still fertile when you do decide to start trying for that baby. But what about when you’re the wrong side of 35 but haven’t met anyone? Should you wait in the hope you won’t have to spend too much longer kissing frogs, all the while conscious of how loudly your biological clock is ticking, or go it alone?

The fact is a woman's fertility dramatically decreases when she hits 35, but research shows that it starts to slope off when a woman is in her late twenties (and probably in the prime of her career). In fact a woman aged 28 having regular unprotected sex may have to wait a month or two longer than her friend of 23 to fall pregnant. So what about when you’re pushing 40? Should you be spontaneous and get pregnant rather than following conventions and missing out on your chance of having a baby? Don’t we all deserve the chance to experienc the most amazing, life-changing, magical experience there is: parenthood?

Being a single parent

Having a baby will change your life and getting pregnant isn’t a decision to take lightly. Are you ready to make the inevitable sacrifices? You may be in the early stages of a relationship but feel pressured by time – however, before you rush into having a baby you must bear in mind that you may end up raising her alone. Are you prepared to be a single mom? Have you considered how you’d cope, emotionally and financially? Think about he fact that you might be by yourself with a baby 24-7, longing for adult conversation. As far as money goes, you’ll need to equip your baby and pay for daycare without any help from a partner. And what about the job of parenting? It can be exhausting if you don’t have someone to share the load. Read our features on single parents and a single parent’s survival guide for a look at what single parents have to cope with.

If there’s no man on the scene and you decide to opt for donor insemination you need to consider the emotional issues that go hand-in-hand with such a decision. If a friend agrees to father your child, you must consider the long-term implications. Will he play an active role in your child's life? Will he be a 'hands-on' dad, or more of a silent partner in the parenting procedures? In the worst-case scenario, were something to happen to you, who would take care of your child? If you’re preparing to go it alone, it's crucial that you have an answer to each of these questions.

Your career

Many women put off having a child because they think it will interfere with their career, but fertility is at its peak when you’re in your late teens/early twenties. But it’s important to remember that biological clock. Although you can be a fantastic mom whatever your age, it’s worth remembering that if you put your career first you might leave it too late – and no amount of money can make up for that.

On the other hand, many women give up flourishing careers to have children and live to regret it as their children get older and go to school and they’re left with nothing. Of course all these elements are confusing, but it is best to at least think about all the consequences of having children before you decide to take the plunge instead of finding out afterwards.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.

Related Articles

• Lifestyle: Single parents
• News: One in four Brits don't know a single nursery rhyme
• Lifestyle: Single parents survival guide
• Guide To : Pregnancy: Coping with pregnancy as a single parent-to-be
• Lifestyle: The pregnant single parent