The pregnant single parent
Coping with pregnancy alone
Pregnancy is a magical time; one in which you will most likely be filled with joy and excitement at the prospect of becoming a parent. However, it can also be a daunting period, especially so if - for whatever reason - the father of your child is not there to share the pregnancy with you.
If you've recently found out you're pregnant you may be filled with questions about becoming a mum and what it will entail. Having a baby is a life-changing experience and children bring with them many responsibilities. It can be particularly challenging if you’re facing parenthood on your own. It's still possible, however, to enjoy your pregnancy, partner or no partner. Here are gurgle's tips on how to cope with pregnancy as a single mum-to-be.
Call on friends and family
If you're pregnant but have separated from the father of your child, the chances are that you’re feeling quite scared and alone. The most important thing to do, as with any relationship break-up, is to surround yourself with people who love you -your friends and family. They will act as your support network, helping you to get through the tough times and get the most out of your pregnancy.
You can share with them your worries and fears about impending parenthood. Not only that, but you can take your mum, best friend or even cousin to your appointments with your midwife, ultrasound scans and, if it’s your wish, they can be there to hold your hand at the birth of your baby.
Antenatal classes
But however supportive your family and friends are - or if you don't have family and friends living nearby - it's good to meet people in the same boat as you. If you feel that no one really understands what you’re going through, meeting other single mums-to-be will be reassuring. Look out for childbirth groups in your local area that are geared towards single mums.
The people you meet could become life-long friends and you may also be able to share information and tips about how you will cope practically and financially once the baby arrives. Talk to your GP or midwife for more information about antenatal classes for single parents in your area. If there aren't any single parent classes locally, you can always take a friend or family member along with you to regular antenatal classes - you may even prefer to do that. Don't worry that you're going to be the only one there without a partner; many women either go alone or take a friend with them even if they're not single.
You can, of course, also meet other single mums-to-be online; why not create your own gurgle group?
Your emotions
Try not to dwell on your situation. Keep busy doing things that make you happy, whether it be going to the cinema with friends, having a nice meal with your mum, reading a good book or just having a good old heart-to-heart with your best mate. Don't bottle up your emotions; it's normal to experience highs and lows during pregnancy and having a good cry can really help.
If you don't have family or friends around that you can rely on, there are organisations which can offer you support and practical advice through your pregnancy and beyond, such as One Parent Families (www.oneparentfamilies.co.uk) or you could try www.singleparents.org.uk.
Remain positive; you’re about to become a parent and receive the unconditional love of a little person. ain a certain feeling of pride from the fact that you're completely responsible for your child. There's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to all the happiness and joy that parenthood brings.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
Published: August 2008
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Last Modified: 20/08/2008
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