Your first night out after having a baby
Some new parents just can’t bear the thought of leaving their baby to have a night out, but the fact is it will do you good to have a break from babycare (especially if you are a stay-at-home mom who carries more of the daily load). Many new moms lose themselves so completely in their baby that they forget they were ever a couple, and this can cause your relationship to suffer.
So set a date night and arrange to have dinner, take in a movie! Take some things into consideration though – for example, if you bottlefeed your baby you have more scope to stay out longer. While you can express breast milk for your babysitter to feed to your baby in a bottle, if your baby is very young you won’t be able to go too long between feeds without your breasts feeling uncomfortably full.
Finding a babysitter
It’s always best to leave your baby in the care of a family member or trusted friend if at all possible, but if that isn’t possible you will need to find a
trustworthy babysitter who is experienced in caring for young babies and sympathetic to their needs and habits. Maturity and common sense are vital – although it may be tempting (and less expensive) to use a local teen, they might not have the emotional maturity to cope with a crying baby. It’s important that you prioritize your baby’s safety over the cost.
A personal recommendation is always best for finding a babysitter so ask a friend or another local parent if they can recommend someone. Another option is to ask your local chapter of the Red Cross or your local YMCA for a list of local babysitters who have completed their babysitter safety and infant/toddler CPR courses. Anyone you leave your baby or toddler with should know how to do
basic first aid and CPR, and also should be familiar with the Heimlich maneuver to help choking victims.
Check your prospective babysitter’s references (it’s wise to follow these up even if you have arranged the sitter through a
babysitting agency that vets sitters) and consider inviting them over to your home for a dry run where they take care of your baby while you remain at home. This will give you some idea of how they relate to your baby, deal with crying, and cope with babycare, and you can familiarize them with your baby’s usual routine. She needs to know when your baby might need a feed or a meal and what her bedtime routine is. If your baby sometimes frets before she settles make it clear that this is normal and that your baby will go to sleep after a few minutes. If she relies on a particular comfort object or a pacifier, make sure your babysitter knows she will need this in order to settle.
First night out with an older baby or toddler
If you’ve hung on until your baby is older before taking a night off, ask your prospective sitter how they would cope with discipline issues and what they would do if your child won’t stop crying or says they feel unwell, and what they would do in an emergency. Make sure the sitter knows what comforts and soothes your child, how she likes to be held and fed and what games she likes to play. Your sitter also needs to know your rules for TV viewing and playtime before bed, and whether your child is used to having a bedtime story.
Emphasize if there are any foods your child shouldn’t eat due to allergies or safety issues – for example, if your child is under four years old, she shouldn’t be offered hard, smooth foods that could be a choking hazard (for example, nuts, candy, raw carrots, grapes). As a precaution, it’s worth preparing your child’s meal and/or snack before you go out. If your child needs to take medication, leave the dosage and time it should be given clearly written down or measure out the dose yourself before you leave.
Have the sitter come over a half hour or so before you leave, so they can spend some time with your child and get to know them. Floor play with toys is great for breaking the ice and also means your child will be distracted at the point when you’re leaving, which should make the goodbye easier. Don’t sneak out though, even if she’s fully engaged in what she is doing – she will get upset when she notices you have gone and it could give you problems when you plan another night out. Always say goodbye to her in a cheerful tone and don’t prolong it. Try not to appear anxious yourself – if she senses that you are worried and unhappy at leaving her it will increase her anxiety.
Prepare your babysitter
Make sure you leave the babysitter a list of people she can contact if a problem arises, along with your pediatrician’s number and the number for the Poison Control Center (1-800-222-1222). She also will need a number where she can contact you if necessary.
Show your babysitter where the first aid kit, emergency exits, smoke detectors, and fire extinguishers are in your home, and demonstrate how to enable and disable any security systems and alarms.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Last Modified: 23/08/2009
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