Pregnancy sex: the good, the bad and the ugly

Women are often worried about how safe it is to have sex during pregnancy, as they fear harming their unborn babies.

The good news is that unless you’ve been advised to abstain for medical reasons, sex during pregnancy is perfectly healthy and safe.

That said, whether you’ll feel like it or not can depend on where you are in your pregnancy. The first trimester (weeks 0-12) might find you feeling nauseous or exhausted and the third (weeks 29-40) might find you feeling uncomfortably large. But don’t despair: your libido is likely to soar during the second trimester (weeks 13-28).

The good…

Many women report that sex is great in pregnancy. It’s likely due to rising estrogen levels, which increase vaginal lubrication; and to your increased blood volume, which means better circulation through your genitals and better engorgement of your clitoris and labia. Your breasts may be more sensitive to touch too, and this may make you feel more aroused.

This doesn’t mean you should expect to be making the beast with two backs every single night though! There will often be times when you just don’t feel like it or are too tired. All couples are likely to undergo a change of some description affecting their sex life and it may mean more, less or occasionally, the same amount of sex that they were used to prior to pregnancy. Not only are there physical aspects, negative and positive, to consider that might affect your lovemaking, but there are also the attendant emotional aspects of pregnancy.

The looming responsibility of parenthood can diminish sexual desire for either partner, as can other practical or physical worries. Make sure that you keep the lines of communication open and make a habit of talking about your feelings. For example, it’s common for men to worry that sex might harm the baby but rest assured that he’s well protected in there and will have no idea what you’re doing! See sex in early pregnancy for more information. Some women may find that they experience light contractions after reaching orgasm during pregnancy and this too is perfectly normal and not a sign of preterm labor. Later on in pregnancy, deep penetration (if you still have the appetite for it at this time!) may cause slight bleeding because of the extra blood vessels around the entrance to the uterus so you may wish to engage in shallower penetrative sex.

The bad…

As your belly swells you may find that certain lovemaking positions are quite uncomfortable. Try lying on your side with your partner behind you, he can curl around you and enter you from behind, leaving his hands free to explore your body. Or you could try being on top with your partner flat on his back, so you can control the depth of penetration. Finally, lying on your sides and facing each other can be a satisfying experience for you both. Have fun experimenting to find the position that best suits you at each stage of your pregnancy.

The ugly…

Some other common physical symptoms that could affect your sex life apart from nausea and fatigue include tender breasts and engorged genitals (often helping you to enjoy lovemaking but sometimes a little oversensitive), leakage of colostrum (your breasts start to produce this pre-milk towards the end of pregnancy and may leak during stimulation) and the changing shape of your pregnant body. If you’re concerned about any physical aspect of lovemaking during pregnancy, talk to your OB-GYN or nurse-midwife.

If you have any unanswered questions, use our answers page to gain wisdom from other moms or our resident experts for all those pregnancy queries.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.