Adjusting to a new baby

So, your gorgeous new bundle of fun has finally arrived and will slot right into family life. Right? Well, not exactly...

Getting used to a new baby does take time. From the mother’s point of view, apart from the physical effects of having gone through pregnancy and childbirth, it is likely she will have some emotional readjustments to make.

Feeling the acute weight of responsibility for a new baby can be an emotionally overwhelming experience in the days following the birth and it will doubtless take time to settle into a routine. Some women will be dealing with lots of different feelings at this time that will impact on their interactions with the people around them.

For example, many women may experience feelings of inadequacy, anxiety or helplessness when initially confronted with the insurmountable feat of motherhood. This is normal at the beginning and, as a mother grows more confident in her skills as a parent, these worries usually pass. If these feelings linger and make it difficult to carry out simple tasks, a GP should be consulted to rule out the possibility of postnatal depression.

Likewise, male partners will be going through their own new set of emotions about the changes that have happened. It can be hard to empathise with the unique feelings their partners are having and for some men it is difficult to understand why their partner is feeling weepy or anxious. Communication is of course the key. Try to talk to your partner and tell him what you are experiencing so that he is able to support you properly.

A lack of sleep (and of adult company!), not to mention a never-ending mountain of domestic tasks to complete, often means new parents go past each other like ships in the night. The baby becomes the biggest focus of the relationship and other things fall to the wayside. The good news is that this is a temporary state of affairs and, with a little work and a lot of will, it can be changed. 

After an initial period of adjustment, a couple can start to feel normal again and not just like parents. Read the impact of having a baby on your relationship for more information and tips on how to strengthen the bond between you and your partner in those early weeks of parenthood.

If you want to talk to other mums about how they're adjusting to having a new baby, you can visit the Guide to Baby area of our chat forum. If you prefer, you can ask a question on the Newborn area of our answers page. Remember to upload a photo of your baby into one of our galleries, like I love my baby or Funny photos!