How can I stop co-sleeping?

How can I stop co-sleeping?

If you’ve been co-sleeping with your baby there will come a time when you decide she should move at least into her own crib and possibly into her own room (although keep in mind that most experts recommend that babies sleep in the same room as their parents for the first six months of their life).

 

Even though co-sleeping can be very rewarding for both parent and child, and can make breastfeeding easier, at some point you’re going to want to have a bit of physical and mental space from your child. One of the negative aspects to co-sleeping is that your partner may feel a little left out – having a little person between you in the bed can seriously inhibit your chances of becoming intimate and lovemaking will probably be off the menu. Not only can your sex life suffer but as your baby gets stronger, diagonal sleeping positions and an ability to kick like a donkey may keep you or your partner awake during the small hours!

 

The best time to start this move out of your bed is when your baby is younger rather than older. The longer you leave it the harder it’s going to be to change your baby’s routine. As a transitional phase, try sleeping your baby in a crib right next to your bed and at the same height. As he becomes used to this arrangement, you can start to gradually move the cot away from the side of your bed.

 

It’s important to make sure the place he is going to sleep at night, on his own, is comfortable and familiar. If you haven’t already done so, you should put your baby in the crib to play, or for daytime naps, so that he feels secure in his sleeping environment. Eventually you can move your baby into his own room. Spending a lot of time in the room you want your baby to sleep in, especially during the bedtime routine, can also help him to feel comfortable and relaxed. Some parents wait in the room with their baby until he falls asleep, while others prefer to leave the room. It’s possible that if you stay you may become a sleep prop for him and he might find it difficult to settle himself if he wakes at night and you’re not there. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to find out what works best for you and your child.

 

Why not chat to other moms about this, or other topics, by leaving a message on our chat forum. Alternately, if you want to meet other moms in your area with similar age babies, visit our people section to find out what’s happening in your area. If you have any unanswered questions, use our questions page to gain wisdom from other moms or our resident experts for all those pregnancy or baby-related niggles. Have a look at our kit section where we list our favorite baby gear.



The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.

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Last Modified: 19/06/2007
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buterfly
Reply buterfly 8 months ago
hiya i co- sleep with mi daughter and partner aswell hav dun frm day 1 but i think its nice her all cuddly and warm next to me bt i do no wot u mean we got her cot ther jst sittin nex 2 the bed gettin wasted mi daugters 11 mnths nw bt jst try 2 do it gradually u culd put his favorite toy ther or sumthing
Anonymous
Reply Anonymous 9 months ago
hello, this is really hard, I know how you feel. With our daughter she slept in her own cot for a bit when she was very young, but when I returned to work when she was six months old I got into the habit of just lifting her into our bed when she was restless and would not sleep. We were in a one bed flat for ages after she was born anyway so she could only sleep in our room with us. But we have now moved into a two bed and she is only just sleeping in her bed and only cos her daddy sleeps on a inflatable bed in her room! We now have our second child, a six week old boy and he is sleeping in bed with me so its easier for me to breast feed him in the night. I have a crib by my side of the bed, but sometimes I fall asleep while feeding so he never ends up in there. I asked our health visitor for help with our daughter as she is almost four now and I want my husband back with me and not sleeping on the blow up bed in her room. The health visitor sent round a lady who just said to take the inflatable bed out of our daughters room and tell her it has to go back to the people who lent it to us. And then if she starts trying to come into our room and our bed then to just keep putting her back in her bed without talking to her. As yet though we have not tried it yet, cos although I want hubby back in with me it is so much easier to feed our son without hubby in bed. When Kayla was younger we were told to do the leaving her to cry thing, but we could not do it. She used to go red in the face and just cry and cry. Sorry, prob not been much help, but I know how you feel and it is hard. Will let you know if find a miracalous solution!
shelleybelly
Reply shelleybelly 9 months ago
Hi. i am alo guilty of co-sleeping. my baby is 22 weeks and he won't go to bed till 10 at night and only if i'm there.i'm really stuck as i would like him to sleep in his own bed. He also uses me as a dummy through the night and is teething and has been since 10 wks..i know how u feel it is very hard.i also can't leave him to cry because he still wakes in the evening to come in my bed. shelley
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