Coping with a toddler who keeps getting out of bed
It’s all very well telling you to let a baby cry for a short period of time in the hope that he will settle himself back to sleep, but once your toddler is mobile and able to swing his leg over the edge of his cot or get out of bed of his own accord, it can be somewhat more difficult to settle him.
Although in the middle of the night, when you’re both exhausted, the easiest thing to do may seem to let him come into bed with you and your partner, this should be avoided if at all possible as you will merely be making a rod for your own backs.
If you let him in with you once, it will be harder to say no the next time so it’s best to be firm and gently put him back to bed each time he gets out. Easier said than done, you may say, but once your toddler realises that you’re not going to let him into bed with you, he will soon tire of getting out of his own bed.
When you put him back to bed, try to keep the atmosphere quiet and calm; he’s likely to be drowsy and, if you start a conversation with him, it will wake him up further. Try to resist the urge to stay with your child and cuddle him as he may well be more upset when you finally do leave the room.
If your child is getting out of bed frequently during the night – perhaps even several times an hour – it can be incredibly frustrating and tiring for the parent, but eventually your child will wear himself out and get the message that he’s not coming into bed with you. Persist and it will get better; it’s a matter of breaking the cycle. When your child realises that you’re not going to give in, he will learn that constantly getting out of bed is a fruitless effort.
Read our feature on Coping with an early riser for additional information on this topic and watch our video on Bedtime Routines.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
Published July 2008
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Last Modified: 16/07/2008
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Gurgle expert Thirza Ashelford says 'Well done – you still have time to sort this out before your new baby arrives on the scene! You are doing absolutely the right thing in taking him straight back to his own bed if he tries to come into yours. Now you need to steel yourself for a few disturbed nights while you take him firmly back to bed, tuck him in and say goodnight! He will probably get straight out of bed again and come to find you so I would suggest that you wait just outside his door and as soon as he comes out, gently and firmly take him straight back in again and tell him he must stay in his own bed until it is morning and then you will come and fetch him for a cuddle. Leave him again and wait outside his door then do exactly the same thing but this time don’t say anything. I am afraid you will have to do this as many times as it takes until he realises that he is not going to make it to your bed and neither is he going to get a reaction from you! If you have promised him a cuddle in the morning then go in and give him just that to wake him up but I would not take him into your bed for it just yet – at two years old he simply isn’t old enough to understand that sometimes it is ok to be in mummy’s bed and sometimes it isn’t. When he is a little older and happily going to sleep in his own bed then you can have those lovely weekend cuddles!
You will have some very sleepless night initially so do be prepared for this and if possible alternate the nights with your partner so you at least get one night’s sleep each! Be firm, don’t give in to him but do be kind, he is having to make a seriously big adjustment here but leaving it until the baby is born would be seen as a really big rejection so go for it now!'
my daughter is 2 and for some reason has started to not sleep through the night so i really feel for you- it is so hard to keep your patience at stupid o clock in the morning! what i do is have a stair gate in the room to keep her there mostly its coz her room is right next to the stairs so its to stop her falling down them if anything. when she calls me in the night i always go to her just in case but most of the time i just stick my head round the door or lean down and cuddle her and send her back to bed. most of time she goes back to bed and then to sleep within minutes- think she just wants reassurance i'm still there but occasinally she puts up a fight and i sit with her for a while but leave before she goes to sleep but so tired she cant be bothered to protest. fingers crossed its just a phase that they grow out of soon thats what i keep telling myself anyway. x x
my 16 month daughter has started to sleep wa.i wake up to find her walking around the room.the last few months sha has been really figety too,she keeps sitting up in her sleep then throwing herself back down again.problem is she tends to throw herself down and whack her head on the wall...or my head!! god it hurts,i can be fast asleep and wake up in loads of pain lol but she still asleep. think she neds a padded cell lol xxx
my daughter is 2 and for some reason has started to not sleep through the night so i really feel for you- it is so hard to keep your patience at stupid o clock in the morning! what i do is have a stair gate in the room to keep her there mostly its coz her room is right next to the stairs so its to stop her falling down them if anything. when she calls me in the night i always go to her just in case but most of the time i just stick my head round the door or lean down and cuddle her and send her back to bed. most of time she goes back to bed and then to sleep within minutes- think she just wants reassurance i'm still there but occasinally she puts up a fight and i sit with her for a while but leave before she goes to sleep but so tired she cant be bothered to protest. fingers crossed its just a phase that they grow out of soon thats what i keep telling myself anyway. x x
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