Sleep strategies for every mom

There are several different sleep strategies for finally getting your baby to the point where she can self-settle and sleep through the night but what works for one mom may not suit the next. Do you long for a time when you can pop your baby in her crib knowing she’ll happily doze off without a murmur? Or do you love snuggling her close as she drifts off? Whatever your approach, these settling solutions and sleep routines should help you get a full night’s sleep once your baby is past six months or so and able to drop that night feed… plus, in the long term they’ll help encourage good sleep habits!

Pick-up, put-down

If you can’t bear the thought of leaving your baby to cry, this sleep training method is aimed at helping her learn to settle herself without leaving her to cry it out.

Why it works

It’s the gentlest way (for both of you) of teaching your baby to fall asleep by herself. It’s logical to start out by putting your baby down when she’s showing signs of being tired and not at a set time when your baby might actually be wide awake. If you hang on until she’s sleepy you’re halfway there, and then as she learns to self-settle you can gradually shift bedtime to a civilized hour. But keep in mind that by picking up your baby and comforting her you’re basically rewarding her for crying, so this sleep training method may take longer.

What to do

Step 1 Watch for your baby’s sleepy signs: yawning, eye-rubbing and general crankiness.
Step 2 Put her in her cot drowsy but awake.
Step 3 If she cries go to her, pick her up and comfort her with a ‘shhhh’ sound until she stops crying – then lay her down again.
Step 4 Continue with picking her up if she gets upset. Eventually she’ll learn that she’s going to be put down again, not rocked to sleep, and will learn to fall asleep by herself. The bonus of the ‘shhh’ sound is that she’ll begin to associate it with sleep so if she rouses the sound alone should help her settle.

Controlled crying

Conceived by US sleep guru Richard Ferber, this method involves leaving your baby to cry for progressively longer periods of time until she self-settles. You have to be strong enough to tough out those tears with this method!

Why it works
It’s probably the quickest sleep training method if done properly, but it’s reserved for babies over 6 months and you have to see it through since giving in at any point takes you back to square one. If you’re particularly soft-hearted it takes a will of steel to stand hearing your baby crying while every instinct is telling you to go and comfort her. While there’s no doubt this technique has worked for many parents, some childcare experts feel it may be emotionally and psychologically harmful to leave your baby to cry for any length of time.

What to do

Step 1 Put your baby in her cot awake, say goodnight and leave the room.
Step 2 If she cries, wait five minutes before going into her. Stay with her for a few minutes to reassure her, then lay her down again, say goodnight and leave the room.
Step 3 If she’s still crying after five more minutes go back in a repeat the procedure. This time, wait for 10 minutes before going back in to her and extend the time between visits by two minutes until she eventually falls asleep.

Controlled comforting

This method is a compromise between the first two and can take the sting out of controlled crying while being speedier than pick-up put-down.

Why it works
It’s the middle ground between feeling you have to pick up your baby at the slightest murmur and leaving her to cry for long periods and is great for moms who’ve had a cesarean and can’t keep leaning into the crib to lift their baby up as you need to do with pick-up, put-down. Plus, with this method you get a much-needed sit down after daylong baby care. The downside is that it can take a long time to work on any given evening and it may be several weeks before your baby learns to settle quickly by herself. It’s a tad complicated too, with lots of clockwatching (keep in mind that you might have to do it in the middle of the night, when you’re too tired to accurately time each stage).

What to do

Step 1 Put your baby in her cot awake and leave the room. Wait outside for two minutes to see if she settles.
Step 2 If she doesn’t settle, go back in and lie her on her side, facing away from you (don’t panic: you won’t be leaving her to sleep this way). Sit beside the cot and when she starts to cry, place one hand on her shoulder and use the other to gently pat her bottom, saying, ‘it’s time to sleep’. If she stops crying, stop patting – the aim is to get her to settle herself and not rely on the patting to help her.
Step 3 If, after two minutes, your baby hasn’t gone to sleep, leave the room and wait outside for four minutes. If she doesn’t settle, go back in and repeat the process, this time for four minutes.
Step 4 Keep extending the time you spend comforting your baby and leaving her to try to settle by two minutes each time. If she falls asleep, gently roll her on to her back – never leave her on her side once she settles, as this is a cot-death risk. If she doesn’t settle within an hour, then offer her a feed and a cuddle – then start over until she falls asleep.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.

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Last Modified: 20/08/2008

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