Are you a nervous mummy?
Here gurgle has rounded up the most common worries of first-time mums - especially those of a nervous disposition! We’ve also provided a helpful tip with each ‘worry’ to help reassure you. Remember that, as always, if you have any real concerns about your baby’s health you should always consult your GP.
* You check your baby’s breathing ten times a night:
We’ve all been there; you arrive home with this perfect little bundle and all he wants to do is sleep. This is all very well when he’s napping throughout the day and you can keep your eye (alright, both eyes!) on him, but what about when it’s bedtime? You can’t stay awake all night checking that he’s ok – you’ll already be battling with sleep deprivation so this isn’t advisable! But you may find yourself checking your baby's breathing more than is perhaps necessary - including every time you wake in the night in need of the loo!
Tip: You can help yourself to relax by creating a safe sleeping environment for your baby. For instance, you should avoid smoking and if anyone in your family does smoke, you should make sure that they do this outside of the house. You should also put your baby on his back to sleep, with his feet at the bottom of the cot. You can help to reduce the risk of SIDS by checking that your baby isn’t too hot at night. Make sure that the central heating is not too hot and that your baby has not got too many blankets on him; you should also check that his head is not covered over by blankets. If your baby feels hot, you should reduce his covering. It’s also recommended that you and your baby do not co-sleep if either you or your partner smoke, have been drinking, are on medication, are very tired or if your baby was premature or small at birth. For more information and to find out what your baby’s breathing should sound like, read Checking your baby’s breathing at night.
* You don’t want to leave your baby with anyone else – including his daddy!
As a new mum, you may feel that no one can take care of your baby like you can, but this can leave your partner feeling excluded and may even prevent him from bonding with your baby. When he tries to help, you may find every possible excuse why you should be the one to take charge - even if it is the middle of the night and he really is just as capable as you are of soothing your baby back to sleep!
Tip: Share parenting responsibilities wherever possible. Obviously your partner can’t help with the breastfeeding (not having the necessary equipment!) but he can help with pretty much everything else – at bathtime, storytime, nappy changes etc. This will help to promote a healthy relationship between not only your partner and baby, but also between you and your partner.
* You’re scared of introducing solid food into your child's diet:
If your baby is still a newborn you obviously won't be thinking about weaning yet – the World Health Organisation recommends that babies should be exclusively breastfed, or given formula milk, until they are six months old. But if your baby is coming up to this age and you’re fretting about giving him his first lumpy food, don’t worry – you’re not alone. But the fact remains that you can’t feed your baby pureed food until he is 18! The longer you leave it, the harder your baby will find it to cope with solid food.
Tip: The first time you try your baby on solid food, have your partner or another friend or family member present. Your mum may be an excellent candidate as she will have been through this before and can therefore give you some reassurance! Also, you may feel more at ease if you know what to do in the unlikely event that your baby does choke. Why not take a first aid course? You might also find it helpful to read gurgle’s features on Choking: what to do and Basic First Aid. Have a look at our Weaning Guide too, so you know which are the best first foods to try your baby on.
* You are constantly worrying that your child isn’t eating enough or gaining enough weight:
Again, this is a tough one. As mums we want to nurture our young and it gives us great pleasure to see them well-fed and satisfied. But what if your child is rather more fussy when it comes to eating? Mealtimes become a stressful event which often leave you in tears, anxious that your little one will fade away.
Tip: Obviously, if you are bottle feeding you can monitor how much your baby is drinking, but if you're breastfeeding it can be harder to determine how much milk your baby is taking in. The best way to gage whether your baby is taking in enough milk is by having her weighed regularly - your health visitor will inform you as to whether she is putting on an appropriate amount of weight. Other signs which would suggest that she's drinking enough milk are if she seems content between feeds, is sleeping well and is producing wet nappies every day (the number of wet nappies depends on your child's age, so best to check this with your health visitor).
If you're dealing with a fussy toddler, the best thing to do in this situation is to relax a bit. Children are intuitive and will pick up on your tension, so if you’re anxious at mealtimes this won’t go unnoticed by your child. In fact, if he sees you working yourself up into a state he’s more likely to rebel and refuse to eat. Instead, offer him small portions and try to make eating an enjoyable experience. Experiment with different colours and shapes, for example – try to make a smiley face out of his meal! Sometimes it’s alright to play with food. Wherever possible, eat as a family – if you set a good example and your child sees you eating, he is more likely to do the same. Read Mealtimes: how to keep the peace for more tips.
* You’re so worried about germs that you barely leave the house and dislike the idea of your child playing in crowded areas.
Of course, we would all love our children to be healthy at all times, but you can’t wrap them up in cotton wool. This isn’t to say that you should encourage your child to roll around in the mud, but it’s important for the development of his social skills that he is allowed to venture outside and mingle with other children.
Tip: Concentrate on the ways that you can keep your child healthy, through eating a balanced and varied diet filled with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables and by washing his hands before meals (or when he has come into contact with anything dirty). You can also carry a pack of baby wipes with you.
* Your baby has started walking and you follow him everywhere!
Once your little one starts walking, he will be off like a rocket - trying to get into every nook and cranny. If you're a nervous mummy you may find yourself endlessly chasing after him, trying to cushion every fall. But you can't protect your child from every little bump and scratch - nor should you. You have to accept that it's inevitable your child will occasionally bump his head or fall over and cut himself in the playground.
Tip: So that you can relax a bit, make sure that you babyproof your home so that when your little one does fall over, he is unlikely to do himself any harm. It's also worthwhile babyproofing your garden - watch our video for tips on how to do this. When your child reaches toddler age, you will find that he loves nothing more than racing around the playground like a headless chicken. While the idea of this may now send shivers down your spine, if you read our feature on Toddlers and playground safety you can pick up some helpful tips about how to make sure your little one is safe while he plays.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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