New mum worries - who can help out?
The love and support of your partner, family or friends can help ease the pressure – both physical and emotional, but fortunately there are also others you can turn to for reassurance and advice - such as your midwife or your health visitor. So you needn’t feel you’re alone and without help, even if you are a single mum.
Here gurgle's come up with a list of the key people to include in your support network during the early days after delivery. Knowing you have them to rely on will hopefully make things a lot easier for you!
Midwife: Midwives play an important role in preparing you for delivery, making their presence during all stages of pregnancy, labour and early post natal period, very important. In the UK, midwives work in the community, providing services in women's homes, local clinics, children's centres and GP surgeries, in the hospitals or both. Some midwives are self-employed, working as independent midwives either on their own or as part of a group practice.
You can benefit from a midwife’s experience in the field of antenatal and postnatal care, in counselling, support and education. Midwives are trained to identify complications that may arise in women and babies and when to call for assistance and implement emergency measures, often in conjunction with other health professionals. Your midwife is also equipped to explain your birthing options to you and help you to prepare your birth plan. Along with helping you and your partner prepare for parenthood, she will be able to answer your questions on both your baby's health and your own and also give helpful advice on motherhood topics ranging from post natal depression to breastfeeding. Midwives in the UK are registered with the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC).
Doula: You can also have a doula in addition to a midwife, not instead of one. A doula is an experienced woman - a paid birth attendant - who offers you and your partner emotional and practical support before, during and after childbirth so that you have the most satisfying child birth experience. During labour, doulas provide nurturing, continuous support and reassurance, offering help and suggestions on comfort measures such as breathing, relaxation, movement and positioning. She can also encourage your partner to participate in the birth as far as his comfort levels allow. After child birth, postnatal doulas can work flexible hours to suit your family requirements, offering you and your partner practical and emotional support in the crucial early weeks. Having a postnatal doula, can help you enjoy a prolonged "lying in" period, which will give you more rest, more bonding time with your baby and family and help speed up the recovery process.
As a doula's role is flexible to fit in with the given situation, you can tailor your doula’s services as per your specific needs e.g. the type of support will differ if you’re a first time mum to that of a woman who has children already. The number of doulas working in the UK has increased over the years but there are still areas where it may be hard to find one. You can check with your midwife or antenatal teacher if they know of a good doula who works in your neighbourhood, or try finding one through a personal recommendation. Otherwise you could look up Doula UK’s website www.doula.org.uk - a free online resource for contacting doulas directly.
Health visitor: A health visitor takes over where your midwife's role ends. Health visitors work with families at home and in the community, promoting good health with particular attention on young children and greater focus with the environment in which your young child is growing up. Health visitors in the UK are qualified and registered nurses or midwives who have done further training, which allows them to work as a member of the primary healthcare team. While they undertake a range of work across all age groups, as a new mum you can seek the advise of your health visitor on areas like feeding, safety, physical and emotional development and other aspects of health and childcare.
Your partner: As a new mum, you may feel that no one can take care of your baby like you can. This can leave your partner feeling excluded and may even prevent him from bonding with your baby. Share parenting responsibilities wherever possible. Obviously your partner can’t help with the breastfeeding but he can help with pretty much everything else – at bathtime, storytime, nappy changes etc. This will help to promote a healthy relationship between not only your partner and baby, but also between you and your partner.
Parents/ In-laws/Friends: When well-meaning relatives or friends offer help, don't be afraid to say yes, especially if you’ve had a C-section and need compulsory bed rest. In some cultures indeed, it’s customary for the new mum to return to her mother’s house where she enjoys the special postnatal care for herself and her newborn baby. It’s also common for the parents/in-laws to move-in temporarily to care for the new mum and her baby, whilst also helping out around the house.
New mummy friends: When you become a mum, you will make a whole new set of friends. These could be people you met at antenatal class, postnatal class or perhaps mummy and baby groups. These new friends are people you can share your mummy worries with - especially as they will probably have the same or similar worries themselves, which you may be able to help with!
Remember that you can chat to other mums about this, or other topics, by leaving a message on our chat forum. Why not also share adorable pictures of your baby in gurgle's Newborn gallery?
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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