Help! My child is being bullied
You will no doubt be hoping very much that your child is never the victim of bullying. But what if you do think that your child is being bullied? How should you approach this delicate situation?
What counts as bullying?
- Bullying can actually start at quite a young age and could be something as simple as your child being left out at playtime, or isolated from a group – this is still bullying.
- If someone is stealing your child’s belongings, this is also considered bullying.
- If your child returns home and tells you that someone at school has been teasing him - calling him names or making mean remarks, this constitutes as bullying.
- If your child has been bullied physically this might take the form of being hit or pushed about.
Why is my child being bullied?
Anyone can be the victim of bullying, although if your child is fairly low in confidence or self-esteem it might make it more likely that he will be bullied. Noone deserves to be bullied, however; it whatever form it takes, bullying is totally unacceptable and should never be tolerated.
How will I know if my child is being bullied?
Hopefully your child will come and tell you if he is being bullied, but there are certain instances in which he might feel as if he can’t – for example, if he has been threatened by the bully/bullies or told that something bad will happen if he tells anyone about it.
If your child does not come to you direct there are certain signs you can look out for:
• Your child is usually happy but now seems upset for much of the time
• You notice cuts or bruises on his body and have no idea how he got them
• He doesn’t want to go to school and makes up reasons – such as feeling sick – for why he shouldn’t go
• He is experiencing mood swings or his behaviour has changed; perhaps he is quieter or more introverted than usual.
What can I do to help my child if he is being bullied?
Obviously the minute you discover that your child is being bullied you will be keen to put a stop to it. But how?The first thing you should do is talk to your child’s teacher to make them aware of the situation. The teacher will be obliged to investigate the matter and is likely to inform the parents of the bully.
It’s also important that you keep the lines of communication open between you and your child; he needs to know that he can talk to you as the ordeal may have been fairly traumatic for him.
Once you find out that your child is being bullied it’s normal for you to feel upset, but try not to let your child see this as he will really need your support at this time. Try to approach the situation calmly and offer your child lots of love and affection.
Make it clear that he has done the right thing by confiding in you and that there is nothing wrong with him – the bully is the one with the problem.
Make a note of everything that your child tells you so that you can show the teacher and give them as much evidence as possible.
If your child finds it hard to talk to you, he may prefer to talk to someone more neutral – either a counsellor or helpline. You could advise your child to talk to someone at childline, on 0800 1111, or visit the website on www.childline.org.uk.
What should I not do?
However tempting it might be to march in and have it out with the bully himself, or to make contact with his parents, this is likely to make the situation worse. It’s important that you don’t appear too overbearing. The best bet is to have a quiet word with the teacher so that you can discuss the school’s policy on bullying and work out the best way forward.The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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