Why is my body doing this to me?

Wow your good! I've never had a great deal of self confidence (a lot is to do with things my mam has said to me in the past). Pretty much that I'll be a failure at everything because I'm too dozy. She told me not to sit my driving test because I would be too dangerous on the roads and with my husband's support once we got married I passed it with flying colours!
The love making doesn't so much feel like a chore when you've been to work all day (my husband and I work for the same organisation) and its a pretty stressful place. By the time we get in from work, have some tea, clear up and sit down, I'm usually out for the count. Hubby also has a sleep disorder which means I am usually in bed and sound asleep a long time before he comes to bed. He was told not to go to bed until he was absolutely knackered. If I tried to stay up with him to be awake when we went to bed I would be no good for work the next day. I appreciate that lifestyle must change if and when junior comes along. I think it's because we don't have a valid reason like a baby to change it that we continue like this. I really want to (and should) make more of an effort. I realy think he's sick of looking at the fleecy PJS!

I will check things out with my GP but I know it tends to be if anything hasn't happened after a year.

you've really picked up on some interesting things - thanks for your help

Mandy, It sounds to me as if although you and your partner said you would "take the foot of the gas" for a while, your still getting very stressed about becoming pregnant. It's a vicious circle, each month you secretly hope, and when it doesn't happen you become increasingly worried that there is something wrong.

I have the feeling there is a real worry that you may be infertile from what you said about your kidney failure as a child and your mum saying that you could be. I know you feel arkward about going to your GP or maybe you are a little scared about what you might hear, But knowledge is power and if it helps to put your mind at rest then it will be worth the visit. Believe me, people make appointments for all sorts of stupid ailements, your reasons for seeing your GP are not a waste of time and if you explain the reasons for your concerns they should be able to help.

I don't mean to ramble on but im a counsellor and have picked up on something in what you wrote about you saying that maybe yuo havent caught pregnant because "I feel like the big fella in the sky is trying to tell me I would make a crap mother anyway and thats why it hasn't happened yet(or won't happen)."
Is there any chance that this is what you are feeling? Because low self esteem adds to the pressure and it sounds like trying to concieve had become a bit of a chore, making love feels like something you have to do rather than something you enjoy?

7 months isn't really a long time to be trying. it seems like forever i know, especially if "trying" turns onto your main reason for making love and each month your period comes.

How would you feel if you stopped trying and just enjoyed the practice! Once you get out of the mind set that you have to get pregnant you may find that it happens sooner rather than later, but i woud definately get to your GP for a health check and ask about your fertility!

Hope i havent rambled on to much and good luck, i hope i have been helpful x x

Thanx for your support, it's really appreciated. We are going to try the xmas magic approach and then we've decided to leave it for a few months after that if that doesn't work. We haven't tried ov sticks or anything like that - like you say, it seems so forced and mechanical and it shouldn't be about that. The whole purpose is its about two people that love each other - not two thats ready to kill each other!
All the best for xmas

Hiya, dont know if my reply will be usefull, more just for support..me and my hubbie have been trying and we are now onto our 5th month, i know how frustrating and upsetting it is but i do just keep faith that it will happen for us all...not easy saying that though lol! It can all become quite mechanical iv decided to take a break over xmas (as i have been using ov sticks each month) and enjoy the holidays, maybe you and your hubbie should take a break and enjoy each other over the holidays...you never know what abit of xmas magic can do!! Keep your chin up!! xx

I am at the end if my tether with my body. I have been trying for 7 months now and absolutely nothing has happened. I am getting so frustrated now. I have had two false alarms now - one month I had constant niggling period pains and convinced myself I was expecting - negative pregnancy test. This time my period is late - had no sign of it whatsoever - still negative test. I have never had a late peiod before. Also, my length of cycle keeps reducing each month by a few days - how the hell am i supposed to know when I am fertile if the number of days keep changing?!?!? I was quite worried going into this that there would be problems. I am underweight for my height (naturally underweight I may add, I am of very slight build) but I also suffered kidney failure as a child and my mum told me I could possibly be infertile now. Can kidney failure do that? I had two very stressful months of trying and felt that my husband and I were realy starting to resent each other. I feel totally unattractive and unsexy and he says he feels like a piece of meat. We decided to take our foot off the gas as many people suggested relaxing would work - it hasn't. That was a few months back. I don't want to bother my GP. For one he will say its still too soon but at the end of the day - I am not ill so I feel guilty for burdening him with my 'wants' when an ill person could have that spot. I don't know what to do anymore - I feel like the big fella in the sky is trying to tell me I would make a crap mother anyway and thats why it hasn't happened yet(or won't happen). I even went to church today and prayed to him to let it happen and that I would make a good mam. This is so emotional...