How to stay strong as a couple

1 Talk- don't sulk.

2 Don't expect your partner to be a mind reader if something is upsetting either of you say so.

3 Sometimes men feel pushed aside by the baby, women feel they have lost "themselves" in motherhood.. Be aware of this. Remind yourselves of life outside parenthood, and try to live it sometimes!

4 If you need help ask- don't sit there seething because he/she should KNOW.

5 Cuddle, kiss, show affection above all communicate.

6. Sex is often a problem after childbirth. Men are sexually as driven as before and may feel left out and so more needy. Women may find penetration painful- and their sex drive absent for weeks if not months. Talk about this and remember intercouse is not the only way.

7 Babies force change and change means stress. You can deal with this by coming together more strongly- but be aware that stresst can also drive you apart.

8 Research shows that however much couples share tasks and chores before a baby is born the mother tends to do more after the baby is born. This is probably because women have longer maternity leave- and so take over tasks like washing or cooking that were once shared. Remember as we make our beds so we lie in them. A pattern set after birth may stay for the rest of the relationship. Talk about who should do what- weekdays, weekends, and if you return to work.

9 Mothers are with babies everyday and have more time to learn. If he is less than perfect don't hovver or jump in and take over. Bite your tongue. Only practice makes perfect!

10 Because we rarely talk about how we intend to bring up children disagreements arise. Each parents does what they know- follows how they were brought up or react against their upbringing. Ideas on what is right can be very different. With talk and compromises it can be worked out.
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However much you disagree, however upset and angry you are never go to sleep on that anger. Kiss and make up.
Dorothy

How is your partner around the house? the thing me and my hubby row about most is that he doesnt pull his weight arround the house so for e.g if Im working and he has our son for the day he wont do any dishes even if my son is at nursery and hes been here by himself there will be dishes from that morning. Ive told him that when the 2nd baby is born hes going to have to be me for his 2 weeks off and im not cooking or cleaning or doing any washing lol. Its not always easy having kids theres extra work and worries but its an amazing thing too, me and my hubby fall out but we know we have created a beautiful life together and it keeps us strong :-) we had our 1st wedding anniversary with a 2 and a half month old baby arround. Im sure you will be fine try not to let things get on top of you and dont bottle things up.

since becoming pregnant hubby and I have had more arguments that other time, we've almost split up twice!! it is a mixture of my hormones and his worries abotu becoming a dad for the first time. Plus we've been married a year on teh 19th and we've been getting used to living togethe once as well!! It's been a very stressful year so far but things seem to be settling down for now. I'm sure we'll have a few more hurdles to get over once our li'l bundle shows up but it's all a learning curve.

nothing worth having ever comes easy and as long as we keep working at it every day i'm sure we'll pull thru eventually!

Just remember that everybody argues with the people closest to them. As long as you can talk afterwards about what you are feeling everything should be ok. I feel that me & my other half are closer since we had our little boy but yes we still argue about the stupidest things! I am sure you will be fine. Try not to worry about the arguments & think about all the good things that will come with your little bundle of joy x

i'm 31 weeks so i don't have any advice for once you've had the baby yet, but i worried so much at the first few months of pregnancy, but it seems to have brought us closer.
i worry too, i think everyone does 'cause it's such a big change, but if you were a pretty strong, happy couple beforehand you're probably gonna be ok!
we'll probably have days where we wanna strangle them, i have those days now (i hate my hormones lol) but in the end i think, we're a family, we love each other, and just seeing him get so excited about the birth and having a son reassures me. x

hi hun,well our daughter is 2 and a half,and we have got another ue june 30th.my husband and i are brilliant even though i had PND.i think the secret to staying strong is COMMUNICATION! always tell your partner how your fellin although it may be boring to them.lol.they know where they stand on certian aspects and the same with him too.share the responsibility together as much as poss.it takes the strain off you both when you both contribute in that way.
xxx

Any advice on how to stay strong as a couple once giving birth to your child. Everyone around me always seems to argue with their partners once having a child! :( and i certainly dont want me and my partner to be like that. Being a family must be the most amazing thing both raising your child together. Anybody out there having any problems with their partners? x