Grrrr!!

You have Richard- she has a dog. So who is the looser here!
Not you.
Dorothy Einon

Just a little update girls, we agreed to give the horrible woman maintenance and guess what she done with it??? Bought a staffordshire bull terrier!! Nice to see our maintenance payments are going on the children eh? x

If she has the children Monday to Friday she clearly provides them with some care. I'm afraid that is how the courts will see it. Fathers should provide for their children and there is no way around that- nor should there be. If Richard earns more than his ex she will be able to claim even if he has the children for half the week.

Be grateful your man wants to take responsibility for his children- lots of men would not do so. It speaks well for him. Don't make things difficult. That you hold your tongue as far as the children are concerned speaks well for you. Keep it up and support Richard in his desire to maintain the relationship with their mother. Sounds like he knows what he is talking about.

If she manages to undermines your relationship with Richard (which may be her aim) she wins and you loose what sounds like a good man. Your best tactic is to tell his ex that this is nothing to do with you and put the phone down. Accept that she is probably jealous of you, that she may well regret moving out and that she probably sees you as having something she no longer has. Afterall she threw up her family for a man who then cast her aside. She is the big looser here.
Next time you feel angry and upset by all this look at Richard and do a little dance of glee. He's yours. Don't let her undermine you or spoil something good. Money isn't everything and a holiday and a new outfit is poor compensation for a lost relationship. Children do see the truth of things in time.
Dorothy Einon. .

We would love to have full custody of them but Richards mum left his dad when he was 8 (i think) and Richard didnt see his mum for years. She had no interest in him or his brother and sister and still doesnt now. She works 2 minutes from where we live but if we are lucky we see her once a month. Richard believes not having a mother there when he was growing up really affected him and he doesnt want the boys not to see their mum. I think as time goes on Richard is seeing more and more of what she is doing and im sure the boys are too. The eldest one says things all the time that really play on my emotions like mummy bought me a laptop for christmas but she says its hers because she paid for it so im not allowed on it. and mummy bought me tickets to see a show in london for my birthday but she had to sell them because she needed the money. The worst one is mammy says you have to buy me the things i need because you earn more than her. If only i could say to him, mammy smokes, i dont, mammy takes drugs, i dont, mammy goes out drinking every weekend, i dont, mammy goes on fancy holidays with her friends, i dont, mammy wears designer clothes, i dont. They will realise when they are old enough (hopefull)

i think u should really consider custody, they would obviously be so much better off with u and their dad and u could provide so much more for them than the person that carried them ( to me she is no mother !!! ) and by the sounds they would welcome it to, that poor little lad ringing u like that. what mother does things like that!!!? not buying their kids presenst or school uniform, i think its fair to say u could offer them much more than she could or would want to! cheeky nasty woman

i don't know how i could be as strong as you, i know you and Richard don't want to cause a fuss and it is clear that you only want the best for the boys. if things carry on like this it will start affecting them anyway. my advice would be to make a detailed log of every single thing you have paid for, even down to a pair of socks and keep all the receipts. also start logging phonecalls and visits from her with details of what she says, what she asks for, her attitude towards you. then keep a log of all the times (night and day) that you look after the boys and why you looked after them i.e she was drunk or on holiday or couldn't be bothered. once you have all this, go and see a solicitor. see what they say from a legal point. if this doesn't get sorted out soon this will affect the whole family physically and emotionally. i wish you all the luck in the world. and as my mum would say 'don't let the b**tards grind you down'. chin up sweetie.x

would u ever consider custody? i know it wud be difficult but even if u didnt win she may realise how much she loves them and maybe put them first more! aww what a sweetheart the 6 year old sounds it muct break ur heart sometimes i dont know why some women have kids! xx

Thats exactly what i said...... if we do a private agreement, she will ask for more next month and more and more and more!! x