After it all.....

We have a book called "First Time Parents" by Miriam Stoppard which doesn't have all the answers, but it's very relationship focussed and I'd advise you buy it now and read it together. Unlike other books which are either very woman-focussed and unaccessible to men, this talks about how your lives will be practically affected, without talking down or being overly optimistic/pessimistic. Of course when you both feel you've spent all day working your bums off (which you will, whatever roles you both take on), the whole night awake (which might be an exaggeration but it will feel that way) and no time to yourselves - you are bound to have arguments and all the tiredness/hormonal rubbish will make it much harder to deal with them maturely. It's much easier if you can be honest with each other and bear in mind that although to each of you it might look like the other one is getting an easy ride, you both feel the same way! Good luck and don't panic it soon settles down even if things are hard and before you know it you will both be joined in the amazing love you feel for your new baby (soppy or what!!?!) - why else do you think so many of us are doing it for the 2nd/3rd/8th time!!

hi hun my baby is 6 weeks old now and ive found it easier than i thort. dont get me wrong im permanantly knackered! was at the in laws on wednesday evening fallin asleep at the table! ha ha but its only just started over the past few days, i was fine for 5weeks didnt feeel all that tired then over the past week ive been a walkin zombie. maybe try and include your bf if your reading or if you see something on here that you relate too or agree with just show him. if youve both got a general idea of whats to come you willn find it alot easier to cope.

nothing will prepare u for the birth of a child. its the most strain ur relationship will go thru, but will soon turn into the most enjoyable. u will be tired, grumpy, sore , emotional, and just spend most of the time with ur head up ur ass! try and find ur man a book for fathers that may help him support u and understand abit more about how u are feeling. my partner was difficult thru my last pregnancy as he thought shes just pregnant! not ill! but as soon as aimee arrived he never took his eyes off her and even now she is 2 he is 1st up when she cries at nite or is ill. now i am pregnant again and he is fantastic, my mood swings have been so bad over the last few day but he seems to be coping with me great!! lol. the most importanat thing is to be open with him, and dnt let him brush ur feelings aside with u will feel better soon. make sure he shares in everything with u and the new baby, ur a family now and hes as much responsible for the caring of ur child as u r! xx

Just after coming off the phone with my friend. She's a new mum with about 6 weeks. She was telling me about how exhausted she was and how she's having daily wars with her boyfriend. Just wondering how all of you girls dealt with this part of your relationship and new babys life? Or is this something everyone needs to go through. Really want to have my head in place when my baby comes so I won't go crazy.