I have completely lost my best friend

I suppose you are right, we were going to grow apart anyway. I did hope it would be on good terms though! It does sound a lot like her that she was more interested in a drinking buddy, and I think maybe she does have an alcohol problem, but she doesn't see it as that. It's a shame that I had to lose her at a time when I need her most. I'll still always be there for her as a friend though. I feel a bit lonely now though =( at least I have some really good family members, my Auntie is being really amazing, she's like a new best friend. I feel a bit pathetic though having no friends, I used to be such a party animal with loads of friends and now they have all gone!! =( xx

she sounds 2 me like she was just using u 4 sum1 2 drink wiv anyway, a real friend would not treat u like she is. she sounds like she may hav a drink problem 2 lol. i think ur better off wivout her as she isnt a very good role model 4 ur child by the sounds of it, the fact that she's completely bummed u off now u dont want 2 do the things u used 2 just shows how she was interested in a drinking buddy rather than a friend.

you dont say how old you are but if your mates are off to uni im guessing your pretty young? you may have grown apart from your mate anyway as you both grew up and went your seperate ways in life and now with you expecting a baby and her not prepared to accept that its just hurried it up a bit. personally it dont sound like much of a loss in the long term and im sure you'll make plenty of new mates when you start antenatal classes and even more so when you have the baby and they grow up and go to toddler groups or whatever x x

Thank you for the advice, girls, it's really helpful. I thought I was the one in the wrong for changing so much, but I guess it's just something that has to happen. I'm hoping to make new friends when I start antenatal classes, which should be fun. Also, old friends came to my new house today and we chatted a lot, they were really supportive and nice and made me feel a lot better about myself. The only reason we didn't really see each other is because they were so busy with college, which they've finished now. Unfortunatly for me, they are moving quite far away to go to University, but they promise to keep in touch and will visit me every week until they move. I spoke to my partner about my ex-best friend, and he said that he didn't really like who I was when I was around her. He also said that she made me do things for her by making me feel guilty, or sorry for her. My mum told me to expect to lose her when I wasn't far along, and I hate to say it, she was right! We both want different things, and to be honest I think she is being rather selfish. It is still hard for me to get over though, it's wierd not having her to chat to anymore. Thanks for the advice everyone =)

Just before i got pregnant me and my husband bought a bigger house 3 hours from where we lived with all our friends, and 2 hours from any family. It was hard first of all but then being pregnant made it easier as i would stop and chat and now nearly all of my friends have kids and its great now. My whole village has loads of really nice mums that are friends for life - just get out there and make some new pregnant mums to be or mummys :)
Tbh if shes gunna get funny about it, you dont really want her as a friend - when you have the baby she wont be there to help you look after it if shes p!ssed off with you so she wont be much help anyway.
xx

i see why you're upset its a shame she cant understand that things have to change now. i got pregnant (unplanned) at 20 when i was having a great time going out every night with my mates, not getting back til god knows what time and spening all day at the weekend in the pub. i then announced i was pregnant and while my mum was thrilled (she was hoping i'd stop drinking and messing about and grow up already- i did) my "mates" were like "yeah but you aint keeping it though are you? why the hell would you want a bludy baby in tow?" even after my daughter was born they still referred to her as "it". i dont regret my decision to keep her though, not ever.

getting back to the point though, you dont have to justify your actions or decisions to anyone. if this friend of yours cant get to grips with new mum to be you then honestly i wouldnt bother with her. its not bout being mean but you sound like you've bent over backwards, more than she has, to stay mates. quality is better than quantity when it comes to real friends and you'll probably make loads once baby is born and you'll have your babies in common. x x

what a lovely friend! personally i wouldnt bother with her. but im hard like that..i lost most of my friends when pregnant with my first-it seems i was no fun anymore and all i wanted to do was talk babies..whilst they wanted drink and boyfriends. it used to upset me but now i mix with people that feel the same as me and im much happier as they are my true friends. i can understand why your upset hon but you really need to stand your ground here-she may just be jealous, but her behavior is bang out of order. try talking to her and explaining how hurt you are-maybe email her, if that doesnt work then try and move on. if she's a true friend, she'll soon come running xx

I don't know how to tackle this problem. Before I fell pregnant I spent a lot of time with her, and we drank everyday. We smoked and went out night clubbing every week. Obviously this had to stop when I found out I was pregnant. When I told her, she was not even happy for me, it took her ages to force out a congratulations. Since all we did was drink, our friendship sort of strained and we didn't know what to do. She always smoked around me and never gave me any support. I asked her if she anted me to pay for a night out clubbing one time, and she was all up for it, but when I said we wouldn't be drinking, she went all b*tchy, refused to go and sat in a sulk. I really fancied a night out so I just paid for her alcoholic drinks while drinking one or two orange juices the whole night. She got really drunk, and since that night we havn't really spoke properly. Now she's blaming everything on my partner and me, speaking to my friends and family members saying how unfair it is that I have pushed her out of my life for my boyfriend, but she doesn't seem to see why I don't enjoy spending time with her. I feel really bad for not seeing her as often as I should but I feel like she really doesn't care about me, just what I can give her. It's really getting me down because we used to be so close and I really love her to pieces, she was like a sister to me but now I never even see her. Any advice please? Sorry for the rant lol I'm a bit upset about it. xx