new mum - freaked out

thanks for your reply, i have not used a dummy yet, but i may give it a go for my own sanity!

i am very touched that you all made the effort to reply and share your hints and tips. I am so glad i found this website.

thanks agin,. its really helped xx

Yeh I know how that feels. I'm the only one of my friends who has a baby. I'm sure you're doing a great job. xx

Aww you've made me cry now!
Everyone is an emotional wreck when they've just had a baby, especially if your on your own.
Just out of curiosity how much time did your mum spend with your sister when her 2 kids were 3 months old? From what you've said i expect it was a lot - remind her of this!
If your sister gets funny, have a quiet word with your mum and when your sister gets funny with your mum, your mum can just say that shes spends every day at her house (your sisters ) so she thought she'd have a bit of time at yours.
Orr, if your mum cooks for her, ask your sister if you could go round there a few nights a week for some dinner and a catch up, your mum can take your son off your hands whilst you relax!
I know it sounds harsh but someway or another your sister needs to realize that you need help more than she does. Tbh 5 and 7yr olds just go off and do their own thing anyway, babies need you 24hrs a day. Does your sister work full time?
When is your husband coming home next?? Maybe you could ask your MIL nd FIL if they wanted to come and stay for a few days, or go to theirs maybe?
But yeah for the moment just try and cope the best you can, and try and get out as much as you can, the fresh air will tire your little boy out and he'll sleep better at night - try adn get him into a bit of a routine so that you feel more refreshed. And maybe go to any toddler/singing/general baby groups in your area, you'll probably find a mum with a baby the same age as yours and she might be experienced or be able to give you a few tips, and the general walking and everything will tire you both our for a good nights sleep. Maybe try putting your baby in a sling, so that you can keep him more awake in the day, and walk and talk to him, then he wont have any problems going to sleep at night lol!
Hope all my balbbering on helps!
And dont worry about having the odd bad day - i still have them now and my youngest is 21 months lol, just when i go out to the car and she runs off - being heavily pregnant with triplets i cannot run after her lol! Or when shes having a strop at home and i cant do anything with her etc - so seriously dont worry about it! xxxx

thanks so much, your message made me cry with relief! it really helps to hear your words of wisdom. I know i need to be stronger with my sister, i am just an emotional wreck at moment, and she is getting married again in few months so i dont want to fall out with her.I know she will freak if i say anything. The odd time i have asked mum to help me, my sister reminded me that mum is on "her time".
So i am just tryng to cope best i can. Husbands family are in ireland which is a shame, cos his parents dote over our baby and would love to help! I will try some of the soothing tips and let you know how i get on.
thank you so much xx

hiya, yeah i have friends nearby, but i am first one to have a baby so they are as clueless as me! thanks, helps to know i am not alone xx

Every new mum feels over whelmed at some point. And sometimes no matter what you do your baby wont stop crying, it happens to everyone. Just take some deep breaths and you'll be fine. Do you have any friends that can help you when you feel like this? xx

hi, your not the first to freak out a little when your on your own..i do that even now and ive been a mum for 16 years! my youngest is almost 4 weeks and sometimes when he cries-which is rare, im like ok what do i do now? lol. has he got a dummy? i find when Teddy is over tired or has a tummy ache, or crying for a reason i dont know-his dummy soothes him and calms him down. You dont have to use it all the time..just now and again as a sort of emergency measure. Teddy spits it out when he's asleep or when he's calm, i remove it. Today he had a crying fit so i put my music on loud (but not enough to hurt) and danced with him-think he was in shock or utterly disgusted by my 'singing' but he soon hushed lol..just looked wide eyed and p1ssed off if anything lol xx

Hi hun,
becoming a new mum is a very scary and daunting thought especially when your husband works away. My sister is the same with my mum - always has her round to help out, but i live 2 hours away and never had any help, although i do have my husband. In a way i think it might be better to help you to cope on your own, otherwise you may become too dependant on your mum like our sister. But like you say, with your husband not around all the time sometimes do need a 2nd pair of hands or even just a shoulder to cry on when you dont know what to do with him. All mums have these kind of moments, i still have them now with my 2 girls sometimes, when my daughter just will NOT lie still for her nappy to be done, and sometimes it really gets to me and i dont have the energy to fight with her - but you just have to keep going. And also i know that if my daughters wernt settling they wouldnt want anyone else but me to settle them; and i think your son might get even more unsettled if it wasnt you. All babies have moments where they just need to cry, i used to walk round for ages cradling my babies (when they were little lol), it REALLY helped to 'shush shush' them whilst rocking them in my arms and also i took them outside aswell and walked round my garden to calm them down,and just walking from room to room, maybe try running a bath or putting the hoover on - some babies really like louder noises - or some calming music. Also i found with both my girls, when they were in their moses baskets in my room i used to leave the T.V on low, this helps because they can hear familiar sounds of people speaking.
Always just stay calm and try not to get upset, the more you get worried your son will pick up on it and become more upset.
But sometimes you need someone else to takeover for a bit, speak to your mum and make her realize that your sisters children are CHILDREN, and you have a 3 month old baby! Im sure she'll understand! Sorry its so long lol! xxx