Very very unwell wee baby.

firstly i am so very sorry to hear about your little one :( my cousin and his partner had a still born baby, he was 4 days overdue and he just died! she had to go thorough labour knowing her little boy was already gone and it was just devastating for everyone, the tests showed that he had been a perfectly healthy little boy and there ws no reason it should have happened it was just REALLY bad luck is suppose, what i'm trying to say is that sometimes it goes the other way too, pregnancy is such a scary time, everyone thinks it's all excitement and buying little booties but as a mum who has been thru 4 pregnancies and lost a baby too i know how worrying it can be between scans and appointments all you want to hear is that all is well and if you don't it is so very hard to come to terms with. i have 4 girls and get so annoyed when people ask if i wanted a boy, i reply i got 4 healthy babies how could i possibly wish for anything else- i know how lucky i am, and though i miss the lost one and will always wonder 'what if' i am so fortunate to have my beautiful girls and i know that. i wish you all the best- go with your instincts you will know what feels right for you and don't be bullied into making a decision unless you know it is the right one for you! will say a prayer for you (don't know if you are religious but it can't hurt right?!) good luck hun xxx

Oh hun what a horribe thing for you to have to go through. I had our third son 6 wks ago we had lots of complications thoughout the pregnancy and at the 20wk scan we were told that he wasn't growing properly and they didn't expect him to be alive in 2wks for the nxt scan they advised us to terminate as they thought that it could have been Edwards Syndrome they offered us tests but I refused. We had an awful time every scan they told us to expect the worst at the next scan. They found an echogenciu bowel too but it went by the 26wk scan. They also discussed with us delivery by section at 26wks for him to be cleaned up and left to pass on which I wouldn't have let them do anyway. I agree with you that the prospect of bringing a baby into the world with severe special needs is very worrying and not a nice thing to think about and we had a very worrying 9mths as we were expecting the worst at birth, we were very lucky. Anyway to cut a VERY long story short he was born 4 weeks early growth restricted at 3lb 8oz and had to spend 2wks in NICU but he seems to be ok, hearing may be an issue and they have mentioned a few other things that may become an issue when he is older. I guess what I am trying to say is that they aren't always right you know! Our doctors were very wrong and we had the top consultant in fetal abnormalities! We had to face the prospect of terminating our baby and somehow the decision was made harder because we already had 2 children. Have you contacted anybody? ARC a charity were absolutely fantastic with us, a great support! They offer online or phone support and sent us a booklet detailing the choices. I really hope that you have the strength to decide what is best for you and your baby. Good luck with whatever you do decide. xxx

What would the babys quality of life be like if you were to go through with the pregnancy?. I know its not nice to see your baby be treated like a pin cushin, my oldest daughter has disablitys and has been in hospital alot, but the good times do certainly outweigh the bad x

Hi huni, im really very sorry to hear about the complications with your baby and i know it must be a very painful situation especially when trying to decide whether to keep the baby or terminate. Me and hubby always told ourselves that if we found out their was anything seriously wrong with our little one then we would probably terminate. 1.. because we wouldnt want to go through the heartache of seeing our baby being treated like a pin cushion and go through so much pain. and 2....because we just could not afford to support a special child and it would not be fair on him/her. However, we did not go for any tests to check for any anormalities as we sat down and thought that this is our baby and no matter what, we would love him/her with all our hearts and do what needs to be done to give our child every chance in life. I hope i'm not making this decision any harder for you, all im trying to say is that you need to do what your hearts telling you and consider everything fully before making your decision. My thoughts are with you huni and i wish you the very best for the future. Remember whatever you decide, there is places and counselling groups that you can attend. I've added you as a friend so feel free to chat anytime. Where abouts in lanarkshire are you from? Im in blantyre. Take care chic xxx

Aww hunni, this just breaks my heart to read an i am so sorry. As the mother of one child who was severly disabled ( she has since died at 2 2/1) an a baby with ( she is 6 weeks) with a heart murmmer. I can understand yr painful dilemma. My 3rd daughter was born with a sever nuero-muscular condition. We had no idea before she was born that she had problems. She spent 4 1/2 months in the nicu being cared for. Eventually she came home but it was very difficult as we thought everyday would be her last. She finally died aged 2 1/2yrs in 2007. I have always said that had i known her condition before her birth i would have considered termination but at the same time would have missed the time we had with her even though it was so short. Only you can make that choice as you in yr heart will know what is best for yr child. My daughter (Lucy) went through such a hard time that sometimes i wish i had had the strength to tell the drs to let her be an have a peaceful end without medical intervention but the choices were made for us as she was a fighter. When she did go it was peaceful and dignified the way i hoped it would be. Hunni trust yr instincts an if u wanna chat pls add me. I know our circumstances are different but i totally understand yr dilemma. Take yr time an i am sure u will make the best choices for yr baby. xx take care hun an i will be thinking of you xx

Oh my gosh that's such bad news and I'm so sorry to hear that =[ you are not the only person this has happened too, and I'm sure on other parenting sites you may find forums dedicated to this sort of thing. (not sure if there is anyone on here). It must be so hard for you, but as you say the baby will be helpless in this world. I'm sure if you speak to your midwife or doctor they will refer you for some counselling and they might be able to find people who have been in a similar situation to you if you think that might help. I'm so sorry about your news though.

i'm sorry i havent been in this situation and cant really help.just wanted to say i'm sorry for you .when my son was prem he was in scubu with a baby who had fluid on the brain he was about 9months old and wasnt going to leave hospital for a very long time and probably would never have a good quality of life.your baby is obviousley very poorly did your hospital not give you a number or any info for someone to talk to.try googling i'm sure there will be some ladies out there who've gone through similiar and could talk to you.i send you best wishes and take care.

I got some devastating news last week about my unborn baby. It has fluid on the brain, the brain hasnt fused together properly, there isnt enough fluid round the baby and it has a congenital diaphramatic hernia. The baby is just 16 weeks. I had an amnio yesterday to help with tests on baby. I was also told I would have to decide on when to terminate the pregnancy as baby has no chance of survival if born. I was also toldyersterday that baby's bowel is too bright and it's wee heart has flipped round on it's self. I cant bring a helpless baby into the world with all this but it is breaking my heart to think that Iwill have to terminate and give birth to a baby Imnever goin to bring home and hold. Has anyone else been in this situation or similar or has anyone got any advice. Anything is welcome.