treating children differently?

There is nothing wrong in treating children differently as all children have different needs – the important thing is, as you say, to treat children fairly. It is also important to remember that each child is born into a different family unit and therefore their experiences of that family will be different (the first child is born into a family with no children, the second into a family consisting of two parents and a child and so on). Your expectations of each child will be different as well, with a first child we are all a little nervous and then as they start to develop we are amazed and delighted as they reach each milestone – the second one comes along and we are still delighted as they crawl, walk, produce a tooth but it is not quite the same as the first time around because we have expectations that this will happen. . So yes, treating children differently is a fact of life!

The important thing is to have consistent rules and expectations of behaviour, that is treating children fairly. How you explain these rules and expectations depends on the needs of each child and their ability to understand and co-operate.

I think it's unavoidable. I don't mean to treat them differently it's mainly down to their ages. I feel sometimes I'm constantly nagging my eldest ( 4 nearly 5) but the youngest (1 almost 2) gets away with more as there are things she doesn't yet understand. And whilst I love them equally there are days when my youngest does the cutest things that melt my heart and her big sister is being a pain and vice versa. Sometimes I feel bad thinking I love my youngest more but it's just that she is learning things everyday which amazes me just as it did with her elder sister. Hope this makes sense!!

sorry was feeding baby as well as typing and couldnt put what i wanted lol..basically i believe to a point you have to treat kids differently as they are individuals and all have different needs and demands. Not one of my 5 has ever felt ive loved them less than the others when ive had a new baby. I praise the younger ones all the time when they do something for and with the baby-i tell them how amazing it is that the baby knows their voices, smiles when he see's them and how his eyes follow each one of them around the room (even if its not strictly true as it makes them feel proud and special). I constantly tell them that they did this and that as babies and how gorgeous they were/are. Maxwell proudly tells everyone he weighed 11lbs 11 at birth!
They all want to be my favourite, so i tell Alice i love her loads as she is my first born.
Tom as he is my eldest son.
Olivia as she is my baby girl.
Maxwell as he was my biggest, strongest baby..
and teddy it will be because he's my baby boy!
sounds soppy but it works :D
and no im not a perfect mum LOL there are times when one will cut her hair, one has stolen, one i have to lock myself in the loo to calm myself down and one which makes me wanna leave home at times :D

lol i treat mine differently-i have to as they are each so different! alice im easy on as she's always been good..i accidently forgot her age the other day and told her to do somit or id count to 3..which i did and by number 2 she'd moved lol she's 16 lmao!
tom i bribe lol so easy as he'd kill for 10p-he's 11 and hormonal so to a point im less hard on him.
olivia is 8 and trying to rule the world so im hard on her.
maxwell is 5 and has always been hard work so i have to be tough..
teddy is 7 weeks and will prob wrap me round his finger till he's 40! xx

however, they all get equal love and each told they are my babies (which they hate) xx

im really worried all treat my children different. my daughter will be just 6 when this baby is born and im really scared she gets left on by everyone. because of the age gap the baby will get attention all day and my daughter will get lots between school home time and bedtime. hopefully it will work out x

Already after having the triplets i notice i treat the girls differently, expecting Indy not to have so many strops and everything - i forget she hasnt even hit the terrible 2's yet! And i do treat Isla like shes older, but in a way shes quite bright and sometimes needs it, but i'm going to try and make sure i dont treat her differently, as i know when the triplets come home she'll automatically be different - have 4 younger sisters, she probably will just grow up quicker.
In behaviour i sometimes do, not as much anymore but if Isla would be silly with her dinner i would tell her off but with Indy its harder because shes younger and everything - if that makes sense?
But yeah Isla knows now that if shes naughty then Indy will copy, and she knows thats wrong and everything so if she starts to misbheave i'll say to her in a nice way not to do it incase Indy copies her. But is must be hard for her because we've been out with friends before and their 3YO's and older children will walk along a fence or something, and everyone asks Isla if she wants to join in but she says no because she knows indy will copy her and hurt herself, she does listen! xxx

my son is 4, and my daughter is 7 weeks,i have found myself subconciously treating my boy much older than he is, for example i sometimes expect him to help with his sister and to not cry at silly things, but then i realise what im doing and feel bad for him, i mean he is still a child and only just 4, its not his responsibllity to get me nappies from the bedroom or to bring me her towel after her bath, and if he wants to be silly and act like the child he is he should be able to without me trying to force him to grow up. its hard sometimes though, i just forget how old he is.

I guess it depends on the age gap, my son and daughter were treated roughly the same until my son turned 10 really, when he was allowed a later bedtime and made to do small jobs to earn his pocket money like feeding the rabbit and setting the table, the same will happen to my daughter when she turns 10. I am expecting another baby in October so the age gap is quite big ( my daughter is now 8 and my son is 11) so it is obvious that there will be some differences there in the treatment they get as the baby will have more physical demands. I have promised myself that, although financially, I am better off now then when the other 2 were little, that this one will not get anymore than they did at the same age - think I would feel guilty, and emotionally they will all be treated the same!! :)