Smoking!

It’s not just the smell of smoke on your baby it is the damage that passive smoking is doing to your baby’s lungs that is the real problem! There is so much evidence about the effects of passive smoking particularly on young children and babies that there really is no excuse for anyone to smoke near a baby – or even in the same house! You are absolutely right to insist that your mother-in-law does not smoke in the house when you visit with your baby and if she refuses then my advice would be quite simply not to visit. If she comes to your house then the rule is simple – no visitors smoke in your house now you have a baby. This may well upset her but your baby’s long term health is far more important. I am afraid that your mother-in-law is quite wrong to say “it didn’t do them any harm” the evidence is quite clear on that one! Research has shown that young children who are regularly exposed to smoke at home are twice as likely to suffer from respiratory and lung disorders including asthma, also middle ear infections and in extreme cases, may be more likely to develop cancer as an adult. Young babies and toddlers are particularly receptive to the effects of passive smoking as their bodies are still developing and as their breathing rate is higher than adults they may well inhale more smoke than we realise. For the sake of your child’s present and long term health do make a stand on this one – explain the effects to your partner and get him on your side, I’m afraid if it’s a choice between a cigarette or seeing her grandchild grow into a healthy active child this is a decision only your mother-in-law can make!

tell your OH that you wont be visiting her, that she's more than welcome to come to you but under the condition she either doesn't smoke for an hour or she goes outside, your babies health is paramount, and as for her being old school, they were uneducated and naieve to the affects of ciggerette smoke and babies 40 years ago, but now we know the affects. you should take some leaflets or print an artical off the net about respitory problems and asthma, and also the big one cot death round to show her and tell her thats the reason you dont want her smoking around your LO. my brother got the message pretty quick when everytime he lit up i got up and left, and now if he knows im coming he opens the windows and wont smoke untill 've gone. good luck hon i know its hard to explain sometimes.

its not a hard one, you have two choices, make a stand for your baby or let them smoke and take the risk. my stupid @rse ex refused point blank to smoke outside..said because of his arthritis he felt the cold and i either let him smoke or he leaves. Can you believe i gave in? i had at that time 4 children and i put him first and gave in. Thank god i finally saw sense after a year of living with him-and im now very happily single and my home is smoke free! im hoping that me giving in hasnt effected my childrens health-but never ever again will anyone ever smoke around my kids. Yes im sure they will get the hump-but really what can they say? stand up to your OH..its his child too-perhaps he should grow up and put baby first? (sorry if that sounds harsh) xx

i have the same prob, baby due any day and oh grandparents smoke in there room with door shut! ive said im not taking him round, they can come here but thats it! partner smokes but outside, he kinda understands as our daughter has asthma, im not being a complete cat as ive said they are welcome here! when we do go round if daughter there i make as many comments as poss n walk out with her!

Stick to your guns, If something happened and your baby developed asthma or something you would hold it against her forever and blame yourself for taking your LO over there. Your doing the right thing. If your OH is still annoyed then show him this thread. I'm sure he care's about the health of your baby as much as you do x x

Thanks everyone, its really a hard one I can just sense it causing problems. To me and most others its ttl obvious u wouldnt smoke in front of a child but it seems to be that age 60+ they dnt see the problem and seem to think they know best! I think I will leave it another week or so before bringing up the subject with OH, I think I annoyed him a bit but I am deadly serious with what I say! xx

Hi,
I can understand yr problem..my oh family dont smoke so i never have a problem with them but my family especially my dad smake like chimneys.( my oh an i also smoke)
we have a totally smoke free house we don't smoke in the house, car etc an never have had.I believe that it is my filty habit so if i want a ciggie i do it outside in the cold an rain lol. Unfortunately every house i go round i have to tell them that if they want to see the baby then they don't smoke for an hr before we get there. If they don't like it then we don't go an they will have to come to ours to see her. thing is even if they smoke in another room the smoke an ash settles in the air and on clothes so the baby gets a ciggie even from another room. smoke an ash travel. If ppl care then they will put the health of an innocent lo before their own selfish needs! Smoking around a baby increases the risk of cot deat and asthma, allergies etc in later life.Stick to yr guns hun by protecting yr lo u are being a good mother.Hope all works out an take care xxx

i come from a family of smokers and i smoke, but the rule is everyone smokes outside even in a hurricane! my parents smoke outside of their home also. its an unspoken rule as everyone with an ounce of common sense knows smoking around babies and children increases risk of cotdeath and asthma. my advice is tell her yourself that you love her etc but will not bring your baby round to hers unless she smokes outside, and she is very welcome to your home providing she smokes outside. its a very fair thing to ask and leaves her the choice. dont feel guilty nor feel if you cant see her your being unfair seeing anyone else..your child comes first, parents now get pushed to second or third place xxxx