Visitor's to my newborn

Mothers pass their immunity on to their baby in the womb, and babies carry this inherited immunity for about 18 months. Its topped up by collostrum when you breast feed- especially in the firsty couple of days. (Initial breast feeding is thus much much more important than clinically clean hands).
A new baby will not catch anything that you are already immune to- unless they have a compromized immune system. (Have AIDS for example) After the first 18 months they must develop their own immunity. I fact they have been doing this gradualy in babyhood- BUT and its a big but
they can only become immune to those bcteria and viruses
they are exposed to or are immunized against.

So babies need some exposure to germs. There are those who believe very clinically clean houses are not good for small children because super cleanliness slows the development of
immunity- so that when such children start school nursery they get a huge amount of exposuree to "germs" they have had no chance to develop immunity to- so they get more illness than children who have had the gradual exposure children get from "good to average" clean homes and normal
life.

The most important thing a child needs is love and stimulation. Love is best understood by small children if it is demonstrable. Hugs and cuddles and kisses are a child's birthrite and a loving extended family is a joy and a blessing.
Small babies need stimulation- and the most stimulating thing for a baby has is PEOPLE- toys are a very poor substitute.
Of course you need to wash your hands after going to the toilet- and clean and sterilize bottles- and keep the home reasonably clean and pet free (cats in the garden are more of aproblem than cigarettes in the garden) Banning hugs and kisses and personal contact sounds like baby deprivation to me.

Relax and enjoy babies are a good deal tougher than you imagine.
Dorothy Einon.

Well you see everytime I've been to visit a newborn and its been passed around from one person to another, they baby ALWAYS ended up super agitated, and crying after a few mintues and had to be soothed by mum only to be passed back to a stranger.
I firmly believe all a baby needs is mum and dad the first couple of weeks, and I will enforce that. My SIL is about to give birth any day now, and it sparked an argument the other day because she said she didnt want her sister in the waiting room and would call everyone when shes ready for them. Everyone was moaning, so I ended up saying "You know what, I wont even tell you when I've gone into labour and just ring you when I want you to come round". That didnt earn me any points but so what. I cant believe people think they have a right to come and view the baby and hold it and whatnot whenever they please. That enthusiasm lasts, what, a week? So I think I'm well within my rights to make sure that I have my birth and the immediate weeks after how I want them, and not to accomodate others. I dont want my newborn to get agitated because she/he's being passed around and whether people will call me over protective or not, I will make that known. I've always took the backseat when other people had their children and made sure I rang before I visited and I never pryed the baby out of the mums hands just because I selfishly wanted to hold the newborn. For the visitors its only a phase where the new baby is interesting etc, for you its your baby and you might as well start how you mean to go on.

You sound just like me!! i'm hating the thought of coming home from hospital and the in laws and family/friends will be there all wanting to hold my new baby! i really don't want her being passed around like a parcel! i want her to be relaxed and happy,i can see myself sitting there now getting the hump at her being passed around from one to another and i'll get upset that i can't say anything,or in the end i'll scream 'just give her back to me!!!' and the MIL will be disgusted at me! But i know i'm gonna be very over protective and will have tp bite my lip alot!

I'm glad you're all kind of agreeing on this. Even though I'm only 6-7 weeks gone I'm already making sure everyone knows my stand on certain aspects so its not a surprise later on. I've said that no one is allowed to smoke anymore in the garden either once the baby is here, as I know very well they'll all wanna have a look if they are here and if they go out smoking inbetween I wont have it.
I'm also not very keen on passing newborns around. That has earned me nasty comments. But I think that they need a bit of peace and soft handling in the first couple of months, and not passing from arm to arm when they cant even hold their head up. Fair enough, when baby is older, yes, but not straight away.
Whilst I agree that you cannot wrap a baby/child up in cotton wool, I believe there is a time and a place for that, and the first months/year is not it, imo. Once they start placing etc and doing things for themselves yes, but before that I'd like to make sure they get the best start possible and that includes keeping them away from smoke and germs and bad things.

completely with you hun! my little girl is 1 in october, and i still ask for people with colds to stay away. you cant be too careful, and they dnt need to be overly exposed to germs!

(without sounding mental) with things like swine flu and god knows what else flying round, you cant be to careful with your precious little bunddle!

Hey, i have been having similar thoughts so don't be too hard on yourself!! I plan on gettin people to use that carex antibac hand gel before handling my baby, myself included, i don't think people will mind at all, you see it all over the place now anyway. Just for the first few weeks at least. I also thought i would prob put a blanket around the baby when it went to sit on someone else, that way not picking up germs off their clothes!!

If i knew someone was ill i would hope that they would have the sense to stay aay if they didn't i would ask them to, for the first few weeks anyway.

As for kissing the baby, one kiss would be ok but i would step in if they were smothering my baby!!! Play it all by ear, your the mummy and if you don't like it then you don't have to put up with it.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x x x

I also forgot to say, if you're breastfeeding then you'll give your baby antibodies too. Not everyone will be sensible, my MIL came to us when she had an awful cold when by baby was very little. Me and my husband weren't impressed but neither of us get on with her anyway! Good luck, I know it's hard but try and relax. It will get easier in time x

Hi i understand where you r coming from as i felt like this with my first and her immune system is really bad but then i had my secong who was surrounded by bugs from my first she had viral tonsilitus when he was born and he was fine now infact he is never il( touch wood) my third is up and down nursery and school where bugs are flying and shes 8 weeks old but so far so good
infact they have a good imune system when born as you give them your immunity which wears off slowly and by then theuy strt hving jabs to build themselves up and to be honest they need to have these bugs to build up there immunity for the next time
good luck and remember people are sensible around newborns
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