Tears at bedtime.

Poor you, I can imagine how distressing this is. It might reassure you to know that many children go through a similar thing. They start off quite happily at school, because you have built it up as something enjoyable and to look forward to, but after a week or two, it dawns on them that this is not a temporary arrangement and they are stuck there for years! This can be the point when many start to get upset. Unfortunately, you really just have to weather the storm with this, as obviously she does have to go to school now at this age. You have done exactly the right thing by having a word with her teacher, and she will hopefully keep an eye on how she is settling in. I wouldn’t distress yourself too much about friendships at this very early stage. Friends just come and go at this age, and a best friend one day can be forgotten the next. If at all possible, try to arrange a play-date. Having another one or two children back to tea can really help form friendships. I think there are some other practical things you can do to help the situation: • First of all, make absolutely sure she is getting enough sleep. At five, a child still needs about 11 hours sleep at night, so depending on the time she has to be up, you can work out a good time for her to go down. It is an enormously tiring day for a young child when they first start at school, especially if they have not been used to nursery beforehand. If she is feeling tired, it will make things seem that much worse. • Try to make the pick-up time as pleasant and relaxed as possible. Give her time to unwind, have a snack she enjoys ready, and give lots of cuddles and comfort if she is upset. Hopefully this phase won’t last too long. Most children do settle into school somewhere in the first term.

When your daughter is getting dressed for school point to a button/ head band / hairclip and tell her everytime she she touch's the button mummy and daddy will be thinking about her ( A magic button if you like) this should give her some peace of mind while she is at school knowing that if she touch's this magic button mummy and daddy will be thinking of her. this might help her come out of her shell a little so she can make more friends this should help her enjoy school and possibly stop the tears at bedtime. i hope this helps i had the same experiance as your daughter when i started primary too and this worked for me :D

Thanks for your replies. She went to preschool for two years in the last year she was going three mornings and one full day so she has had some experience of being away from me. She seems to be crying less but still says she misses me and hates big school although when she comes home she can't stop talking about whats she's done. She has her birthday party on sat and her birthday on tues then they break up for half term on thurs and we're going away half term so I'm just using that as count down days for her at the moment to get her through it. I am going to talk to her teacher next week to get an update and perhaps see if they can pair her up with different children so she mixes a bit more. Fingers crossed we're heading in the right direction!!

Maybe it kind of hit her that she would be doing this all day every day, rather than a day at nursery (if she went) here or there. Its a big step, and after the first few weeks shes bound to be tired and emotional (my daughter is like this after a long week at pre-school!), but its half term soon, so make sure she gets lots of sleep to re-boost her :) Maybe after half-term, if she goes back and is still getting upset, go in to the hteacher and speak to her again, maybe they'll buddy her up with another girl? xx

Hi, did she go to nursery or anything or has she gone straight into school? Either way, it's a big change and a long day for little ones. The teacher would tell you if she thought your daughter had any problems, I know it's hard but try not to worry. My daughter did the same thing about a month after starting nursery but they insisted she was really happy there. We nearly took her out of nursery all together but then she suddenly got over it and was really happy again! Maybe give her a week and see how she is then, if she's still upset then try speaking to her teacher again. It's normal for her to miss you, please don't feel bad x

My daughter is almost 5 and has just started school and was doing fine. She started full time last week and everthing seemed to be going okay til the end of last week when we had a few tears before going in. This week we've also had tears at bedtime lasting 3 or 4 hours. We've been to parents evening and she's doing really well and her teacher has said how bright she is but I think she's struggling to be friends with more than one child at a time which makes her feel lonely. She says she doesn't want to go to big school because she misses Mummy and Daddy and the day is too long. Her teacher has said she'll keep an eye on her. Just wanted to know if anyone had a similar experience (to stop me feeling soooo bad) and some tips to try to break the cycle of tears every bedtime and morning.