im soooooo angry! i actually wana kill my ex husband! hes jus the biggest jerk goin! he hasnt seen his son since dec, doesnt ask afta him, none of his lame family ask or c him! they all ave nothing 2 do wiv him! he sent a solicitor letter in jan sayin he doesnt wana c him! ooo big man eh! i tried 2get him 2 spend time wiv his son but he thinks drinkin is more important, hes got a drink problem n hes been takin drugs so i suppose in that respect im very glad he doesnt want 2 c him! my son was 2 last wk, and his family had the cheek 2 send harley a card sayin that they miss him, wot a joke, they all know where i live, plus they ave my number! iv neva said anything untoward 2 them, neva stopped them frm contactin me neva sed that they cant c him! harleys dad put a card thru the letter box on harleys bday, sayin hes put money in2 an account which is rubbish as he doesnt ave harleys birth cert 2 b able 2 open an account 4! him n he signed it frm dad & nicola, who harley doesnt even know! now the csa ave jus rang me sayin that hes disputin wether harley is his son! which he tooootally is his! hes a pathetic loser! harley is his double! plus i neva cheated on him! unless sum miricale happened where the doc gave me a tablet n i fell preg wivout even avein sex! thick b&*$@rd! i avent thrown away the cards he n his stupid wierd family sent as im not guna lie 2 harley, i'll keep them 2 one side n when hes older he can ave them, even tho i wana bin em!, i'll neva lie 2 harley abt his biological father, i shall let him know hes got 2 dads! jus the biological 1 is a dik! lol if harley wants 2 talk 2 him later on in life then i will support any choice he makes! & b there 2 pick up the pieces! i really hate his dad! hes a vile person! i get so angry abt it! jus wish he wld get ova it! i left him cuz of his heavy drinkin etc! i cldnt stand it n i sure as hell werent lettin my son b brought up arnd stuff like that! rant ova n fell sum wot beta now! thanks xxxxx
hey ninababy... i have the same problem with my partner and i just dunno wot to do! we have a 2 yr old son and anothe one on the way due in jan... he always dissapears and dont come home till next morning off his face!! he is so horrible to me and does nothing to help with the house or kids or me even! he just thinks about himself all the time and treats me like his slave!! i no i will be better without him but i just cant push myself to leave him as im still stupidly in love with him??? only god knows bloody why!!!
Hey!!
xmegamumx ive just been reading this thread and im so sorry for everything you and everyone oelse is going through... im pregnant at the moment with my best friends baby!! were together now which is lucky lol but before this i married a guy who i was with for 4 years.
he tried to rape me just before xmas and i finally kicked him out... its my second abusive relationship and i was lucky i didnt have children with either of them...
all i can say is that love isnt enough!!! you can love someone but youll never be happy if they dont respect you.. and its hard to leave if you dont respect yourself! believe me i do know :) it took me years after my first abusive relationship to get myself sorted again as i was so useless because of what he had done...
Please believe that your children see and hear more than anyone thinks and try and be strong enough to leave and keep yourself and the baby/s happy!! you cant be with someone who doesnt love and respect you :)
hugz to everyone and if anyone needs or wants a chat then please get in touch... im kacking myself that im pregnant at 27 and not married to the guy !! so i cant imagine it being harder xxx CHINS UP xxx
Oh god I really feel for all of you men can be evil. My boyfriend has the opposite problem. His ex is the one with the drinking and drug problem and yet his son is still in her care!!!! It's all to do with the fact they don't want to take a child away from it's mother. She very often abandons their boy to go on a binge weekend filled with drink drugs and god knows what else!!!!! But she doesn't even leave him with us she leaves him with her mother because she doesn't want my oh to have anything to do with him. She's stopped him from seeing his son again now he hasn't seen him for months and it's really upsetting for him. CAFCASS have tried to reestablish contact on more than one occasion but she never turns up. He can't go and pick him up from her house because he can't trust her not to scream rape if they were ever alone together. She has accused him on more than one occasion before they split up so now their not he's never been alone with her. My OH and I have been together for over 5 years and have a 3YO together and 2nd baby due in 4 weeks and I have met his son once and that was a few months ago then after that she decided my OH couldn't see his son because the experiance of being introduced to me and his little brother had tramatised him (he had a fab time with my son, his brother by the way). My OH has always sent birthday and christmas card's to his son but has never put my name in there as I don't know him and he doesn't know me. Also my OH felt that his son should get to know him first then the rest of the family later (my son not included in this as my OH really wants them to be brothers) which I totally understand. I really hope it work's out for all of you, my OH included and your children aren't hurt by your situation with malicious ex's. It's so hard to do the best for you children anyway without relationship problems getting in the way aswell xx
cont.
when gracie was born he told her to hit the baby on the head when it cries! he also has told her that im going to die first because im horrible! which has completely messed her poor little head up! the list is endless!
when i read what you said about your lil boys dad i did feel so sorry for you and your son! he doesnt deserve to be a father.
but please take some happiness in the fact he is not part of your lives, and cant damage your child!
ppl like that dnt deserve to have kids it sounds like to me that ya son is better of wiv out noing his dad untill hes older n can make his own mind up if he asks always tell him coz his dad will prob twist it round later on gud luk hun x
cont.
when gracie was born he told her to hit the baby on the head when it cries! he also has told her that im going to die first because im horrible! which has completely messed her poor little head up! the list is endless!
when i read what you said about your lil boys dad i did feel so sorry for you and your son! he doesnt deserve to be a father.
but please take some happiness in the fact he is not part of your lives, and cant damage your child!
without sounding rude, im quite jealous of you! i wish my imogens dad would have nothing to do with her!
when she was born i had to practically force him to see her as he didnt want to know. he would then only want to see her so he could check up on me! he would put me dwn and hit me if we had a disagreement.
he did so many different things i cant even explain them all fully! he once locked her in a car while he went into b&q and then wanted to wiat till the AA came out as he didnt want to damage his car! even though it was the middle of summer and she was screaming her head off!
then when she was 3 i got with dean and we decided to move in together. her dad went mental, trashed my flat, hit me, threatened dean. i really wanted to stop contact but i didnt want to stop her from seeing her dad (as my mum did that to me). so she went to her dads for the night.
he met me the next day with a letter saying that i was an unfit mother and he wasnt returning her my care. because we had no legal agreement i had no leg to stand on. he was completely within his rights even though his a total di@k!
i had to go through 6mnths of not being allowed to talk to or see my little girl, this was over christmas and her birthday. he made all sorts of allegations about me, that im a druggie, mentally ill, beat imogen ect ect. he had no proof, but they kept giving him chances to provide some which made the whole thing go on even longer!
in the end he claimed she had been sexually abused while in my care and claimed that was why she got thrush sometimes. what a pr@t! anyway this meant social services got involved, and then my unborn baby was at risk for a time of being taken away! all coz of his lies!
it did work out in the end as i managed to prove as much as i could was lies. however they still let him have access! they said a bad dad is better than no dad! i now have to put up with him messing my daughter around, never being there for his access!
ive reacently been in the same boat my ex use to drink and do drugs and even dissapear for days on a drinking benders.i choose 2 split up with my ex 3months ago my son is 11months old .He was a really good dad when he was out of wk for 4months with hes foot. .He babysat for me and helped load with everyfing .But then again he had no money cuming in to dissapear or go drinking.He wasnt an alcholic as such cause if he had no money he wudnt drink he didnt even drink evyday.Hes dad would lie alot and reminds me of your harleys dad abat the bank acount fing u was on abat.
My ex doest bother seing hes son either or even calling untill the other wk i reported him 2 da dsa .He phoned me to say hes gonna knick hes son and 3 hrs later turned up on my door step i wudnt let him in .So he smashed my bk door in .He was either gonna try and hurt me or steal hes son.Now ive gotta get a injuntion on him 2day and have been taken out my home because i have social services on my back already.But i really hate him to i fill bitter and twisted how hes out getting pist and having fun while i cant im stuck with the baby.
hey ninababy... i have the same problem with my partner and i just dunno wot to do! we have a 2 yr old son and anothe one on the way due in jan... he always dissapears and dont come home till next morning off his face!! he is so horrible to me and does nothing to help with the house or kids or me even! he just thinks about himself all the time and treats me like his slave!! i no i will be better without him but i just cant push myself to leave him as im still stupidly in love with him??? only god knows bloody why!!!
ive reacently been in the same boat my ex use to drink and do drugs and even dissapear for days on a drinking benders.i choose 2 split up with my ex 3months ago my son is 11months old .He was a really good dad when he was out of wk for 4months with hes foot. .He babysat for me and helped load with everyfing .But then again he had no money cuming in to dissapear or go drinking.He wasnt an alcholic as such cause if he had no money he wudnt drink he didnt even drink evyday.Hes dad would lie alot and reminds me of your harleys dad abat the bank acount fing u was on abat.
My ex doest bother seing hes son either or even calling untill the other wk i reported him 2 da dsa .He phoned me to say hes gonna knick hes son and 3 hrs later turned up on my door step i wudnt let him in .So he smashed my bk door in .He was either gonna try and hurt me or steal hes son.Now ive gotta get a injuntion on him 2day and have been taken out my home because i have social services on my back already.But i really hate him to i fill bitter and twisted how hes out getting pist and having fun while i cant im stuck with the baby.
i hope im doin a gud job lol! well i know i did a fab job wiv harleys 2nd bday at the wkend! he loved it! was spoilt rotten at his party! need a new house jus 4 his new toys lol!! it was crazy!! took him 2 a place called big sky where kids can run arnd n play on all the kool kids stuff! got a huuuuge soft play area! they put food on 4 partys, wiv balloons n banners! he got a very yummy bday cake 2! party hats the works lol! but he wldnt wear his hat! he hates hats! always ave fun wiv him n hats thru winter! he wont even keep his hood up!! lol! lil monkey!! xxxx
I'm sure you are...and the party sounds ace, I'd love a party like that at my age!!! lol he is gonna have to be a good boy and wear is hat if winter is as cold as people say it will be haha. I liked Dorothys advice about sending your exs relatives a card back thanking them etc, only you know what they are really like but either they will shockingly respond and you can build a new relationship with them and get their support or it just shows tht you have taken the high road and if they complain about you then you can point out that you have offered the olive branch and it was them that refused it! Either way, you're looking after your little boy well and taking good care of him :-) xx
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