Angel at home is Devil at nursery

This is probably more common than you think. Sometimes children who are quite naughty at home are extremely well behaved in the nursery situation, where they seem to prefer the structure and routines. Other children like your daughter are as good as gold at home but then tend to play up in the nursery environment. I tend to think that this shows they are finding it a little bit stressful. For some children, it is quite an adjustment to cope with lots of other children and adults at once, and to have to do things to the nursery timetable. As with so many things, children then show by their behaviour that they are over-whelmed. It would be great if they could say in words “I’m finding this all a bit much, I need to go into a quiet room for five minutes!”, but of course that doesn’t happen, and they tend instead to push the child next to them, or hit or bite someone to show their frustration. The nursery workers need to keep an eye on the situations that seem to trigger this. She should really have someone allocated as a key worker and you could ask that person if she could keep a close eye on her, and perhaps take her off for a quiet five minutes if trouble starts. You could have your health visitor visit at home, but as the behaviour is nursery specific, I am not sure what help she could offer. It is more about the nursery staff watching her stress levels and keeping an eye on things.

As a nursery nurse I've been in that situation. Have you asked them how they handle her behavior when she is misbehaving? It's important for her to have consistency. Also, I don't want to sound patronising but are you being completely honest with yourself? I've had parents say that their child is an angel at home but seen the child outside of nursery and they were actually not an angel at all! I'm really sorry to ask that! Also, is your daughter's nursery quite busy and do you think she's getting enough attention at nursery? My daughter's the opposite, she's an absolute angel when she's not with us but likes to play up for me(a you say, she's only a toddler!) Good luck x

My girl (an Angel at home) has become a Devil at nursery. The nursery workers have told us that the other kids are actually afraid to sit with her especially at lunch. They've told us she's been violent and doesn't listen to a word they say or will apologise then do the same thing 5 minuets later. The head nursery worker who is actually a friend of my mums has said that her own boy was much the same and used to bite a lot so were already not alone but its so stressful worrying what there going to tell us she's done one day to the next. They've suggested a visit from the health visitor (helped her son apparently) but I don't know what else I can do from home to help the situation as she's good as gold, she listens and is polite and on the occasion she does get wound up (she is only a toddler after all!) she has a time out and is fine. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation?