his mum!

ok, I see. I'm zero tolerance to lies, too. So I kind of agree with you on this. I mean, its entirely up to you, how you want to whole thing to turn out. If you MIL is happy for your mum to be there all the time, then that's fine, I think. I just think that in time she might feel supervised and underpriviliged especially as you're letting your mum look after your baby. That could cause unneccesary stress. As I said, I totally understand about not trusting her, especially if she's lied before and implied she'd do it again, to get her own way. Its also a problem if you're wanting to do something a certain way, and she thinks she knows better.
I would advise you, for the sake of everyone getting on in the long run, to have a chat with her at one point. I mean ideally you should be able to trust her, too, and maybe she's just anxious to spend time with her grandson and doesnt really care how and when and feels a bit under pressure because she feels like she's being watched? I'm not trying to defend just trying to put a different point of view across. x

the 1st time we went out both the mum's looked after alex. i had said when we left that because we wouldn't be late, not to put him in his sleepsuit because i wanted to do it when we got home. my mum told me that she had to tell the MIL 3 times not to do it because she kept saying that she would just do it so i didn't have to. also she decided to give alex some water and instead of using a bottle from the steriliser, she took a bottle that she had bought us (that hadn't even been washed yet) and used that. when i noticed that it had been used the next day i text her to ask why it had been used because it wasn't clean and she told me that she sterilised it with boiling water before she used it - my mum then told me that she didn't wash it at all and that my mum had thought she had taken it out the steriliser or else she would've said something. and my mum told me that just after we went out that day, the MIL was holding alex in a strange way and my mum noticed that his arm was starting to go a purple colour and told her to check his arm. she apparently said it's ok without looking at it, she did move him into a different position tho. this is why i don't trust her - she lied to to me and then could've caused damage to his arm becasue she was holding him too tightly. my oh doesn't know any of this because i don't want my mum to seem like she was telling on her, he won't understand that she told me because she was worried about me leaving alex with her.

aww.. that does sounds frustrating, but I'm with you on most of the stuff. At the end of the day, you're the mum so you have to decide on your babys routine. Whether she likes it or not has nothing to do with it.
I do however think that things could get a lot worse, unless you maybe sit down and have a chat with her about things. What you dont want is for her to start interfering or telling your oh your bad for him or something like that. The best thing is to sit down and talk about it, so she knows your intentions are good and only out to protect your baby. I understand about you saying that her friend has no right to see your baby, especially if you dont know her or you wont be there... maybe let her know that and if shes still super keen for her friend to see the baby just go round one day and make one step towards her. I feel like you, I feel like no one has a *right* to see my baby right away but maybe look at it as a good thing when people do pay an interest. Why don't you trust her? Have there been issues? Hope you can sort this out xx

Just having a rant ladies. My MIL drives me insane. She's never looked after Alex on her own because i simply do not trust her so it's always either my mum or both the mum's (they get on great and live next to each other). She moaned a while ago about not seeing him much and said that she felt like she had to make an appointment to come round. I told her that i think it's rude to just turn up at someone's house with out checking it's ok first which she said was fine. It's her fault she hardly sees him because she hardly asks if it's ok to come round so she can't complain about that! I went back to work this week and my mum is looking after alex while i'm working so my mum came round on monday to go over his routine and check where all his stuff was. When she told the MIL that she was coming up the mil said that his routine would be regimental because we have set times for things (she had decided this herself because i had said one day that we usually had supper at 6/half 6!). She picks everything up wrong which has caused problems in the past. Also one day while my mum was at the MIL's house, her friend was moaning that she hadn't seen alex yet (there is no need for my MIL's friend to see my baby in my opinion) and told my mum to take him round to her house one day while i'm at work and i would never know! I mean WTF?! Why would my mum take my baby round to see someone she doesn't? And why would she not tell me? His MIL must be telling all her friends that i'm a b***h and that i won't let them see him. She is just doing my head in and I can't fall out with her because then me and the oh will have problems because he will alwasy stick up for his mum. I really don't know how to deal with her. I feel so uncomfortable when she comes round and end up sitting at the computer while she speaks to the oh and alex. I never had a problem with her until i lived with her and nicky - she used to remake the bed after i had done it and move everything of mine and even cooked some of my food because she thought it went out of date that day(it had been frozen and if she had went with the date on it, it would've been 2 months out of date!) ARGH!!!