Family in law...

he is being pretty selfish imo and will find he wont be able to just leave you quite so freely when baby is here- heck he probably wnt want to- he'll be knackered 4 a start! my oh put on quite of weight since our daughter came along 2 years ago and its mostly dwn to his cant b @rsed attitude. youre gonna have to be firm on this one hun. your not being selfish and when your lo arrives you'll quite rightly want time alone to bond with baby as a family. stand your ground even if your man doesnt you dont get this time back ever and you should be able to make most of it. dont have to be nasty just firm. they can take it any way they want thats not your problem. had simmilar issue with my inlaws we lived in their house while they lived up north and theyd come down for weeks at a time (felt like a lifetime tho!) wouldnt be so bad but there were simply no boundaries. if wasnt having my baby compared to their children i was being told how to look after her. on a positive note your bloke obvioudly very family orientated and thats good in lot of ways- hopefully he'll be as close to his own child as his family are to him. x x

Oh Hun, I really feel for you. This is an extremely difficult situation and you need to proceed carefully without becoming a doormat (and letting people walk all over you). I'm not sure, after reading your post, if the guns blazing approach is going to do you any favours, because most likely people are going to "ridicule" you and "blame" the hormones. What you need to do is maybe approach your other half, in a good moment when he is in a good mood and carefully bring up the subject. Tell him how you feel, i.e. quite lonely as he works so much and how much you would love to spend quality time with him now, before the baby is here.
Also explain, that although you love his family (never mind if you don't;) ) you're finding it hard, that they are always on top of you, or that he is constantly round their houses. Explain whether a 2-3 hour visit won't do, or whether having dinner together occasionally wont be just as good, as him going round all day for hours on end. Also explain that whilst you appreciate visitors coming to your house (never mind if you don't;) ) you'd prefer if they didn't impose on you in your own home for THAT long and would maybe at least ring. Get in a habit of ringing them, too to say that your going to come round, and maybe establish a bit of a routine. I.e. over sunday, have dinner together or something. At least he will know he'll get to see them, but you have the opportunity to have some time with him alone, too. I wouldnt make him choose between you and your family, not yet and in that matter anyway, because as they say "Blood is thicker than water". I've learnt that the hard way and wouldnt ever underestimate it again. Try and make compromises, talk about your feelings and make him take you serious. You're in it together - so tell him you expect compromises that show his commitment to you as your family without shutting out his. Good luck :) xxx

Hi, reading your post was soooooo like me when I had my baby!!!! His mother and his sister (Who I personally think all have a strange relationship with each other) where exactly the same, thinking they could just visit when they want or tell us what to do!!!! I explained politely how this made me feel and he was soon becoming concerned that I had post natal depression not that his family where a bunch of d**Ks (Sorry but true), anyway I soon but a stop to it!!!!! I had words with them myself and explained bluntly that we didn't need anybody interfering and certainly not them!!!! Once they realized that I wouldn't take any of their s**t they soon backed off!!!!! Mt advice is open your mouth NOW before baby as it will only get worse then, stand your ground and remind them all that he has his OWN family now and they are no longer his priority now, YOU and the Baby are!!!! Sorry if this goes on but it really get's me worked up!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!! xx

sorry but f* *k that i had a similar prob with my hubbys sis really long story but the last straw came when i'd just had Archie my almost 3yr old and she was due to come round to see him for the 1st time he was 3days old and we had had a rough night so asked her to come at 1pm instead of 11am she said ok but showed up at 11.45am called her dad at 3pm to collect her daughter from school (getting her dad out of bed as he works the night shift) and did not leave my house till gone 5 and kissed my new born on the mouth several times i was not impressed and that day was the day that she was no longer welcome in my home she doesn't come round unless invited by me and i also tell her its time to leave!!!
i would lay it on the line to him you and this baby are his family now and should be his prority and i would want to know why he would rather be with his family than you i would be livid!!!

Hi.I'm21&31weeks pregnant with my first baby.Lately my hormones have been all over the place&I have been feeling very down some days.My boyfriend who I have been with for two years is brilliant but very stressed himself right now&although we love each other very much all we seem to do lately is argue.Obviously I am not working at the moment&he works very long hours(11am-11pm)5days a week&so I hardly ever see him.I get very bored&lonely&so try to keep myself busy&spend time with my friends(who are fantastic)as much as possible.I miss my boyfriend so much when he is at work but lately dread his time off because of his interfearin,intruding family.His mother,who is the most dependent,needy person I have ever met lives just down the road from us&his sister,who is the most controlling,interfearing,rude individual lives2mins away&they just wont leave us alone!They are an extremely close family who are used to living in each others pockets but its so suffocating!Obviously on my boyfriends rare days off I want to spend some quality time with him on our own but he will literally be in5mins&they will be ringing him asking him to go round or they will just turn up at ours&stay for hours at a time!Its so selfish&I feel that I am fighting for his attention&time with him&to be honest I dont know how much more I can take!His sisters just had a baby&so is on maternity leave&his mum is unemployed so they have a lot of time on their hands which makes it all even worse.I've told my boyfriend all of this but he always gets extremely defensive&it goes in one ear&out the other.I'm very patient but I feel soon I may snap.He just doesn't understand what the problem is at all.Even when they invite us round&I say I'm not going he doesn't tell them that he is spending some time with me, he will leave me in the house on my own&go&see them for hours,even though he saw them yesterday!Please help me.I really need some advice.I just feel like they are going to split us up in the end&I really don't want that to happen.I just feel so down...X