This is a very difficult situation for you, and it sounds as though you are trying so hard to make things work.

I think that relationship counselling might help you both. Although this may feel like an impossible thing to do, it’s often easier for couples to talk ‘to’ and ‘through’ a third party who’s a stranger. If he won’t go, then counselling for yourself would be worth considering, or confiding in friends about how you are feeling. Talking does help, and means someone doesn’t feel so alone in situations like this.

Postnatal depression is a common problem for women, and men can be affected too. It’s worth asking your doctor whether this might be the case for you, and encouraging your partner to seek advice too. If this is at the root of the problem it can be treated.

I would also suggest that you pamper yourself, and don’t feel guilty about doing this as it will lift your spirits.

Be aware that fatherhood often takes its toll on dads too. Your partner may feel frightened that a cuddle may lead to something else that ends up with another child, which he may not be ready for. If that might be the case then make sure effective contraception is being used. If you have the opportunity to go out and spend time together then do so.

The information provided by our experts is intended for educational purposes only. Neither the expert nor gurgle can be held responsible or liable for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made on this site. As our experts do not know your specific circumstances, they are not suggesting any specific course of action for you to follow. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with your doctor or other healthcare professional for individualised health and medical advice.

ahhh fanx hun!! i supose im jus avin a low time at da mo!! i did go to my mums aswell 2weeks ago for 6days....but im still in dis position....i supose ive jus gota realise sme ppl wnt eva change e mkes it hard for me to leave him but yet cnt change for me....strange ay....well im sure i b fine jus need sme1 to talk to at times thanx x x

well i think then maybe u shld give him a choice 2 make, its obviously upsettin u & makin u feel unwanted, which cant b nice 4 u! sometimes shock n scare tactics work! i had 2 do the same wiv my hubby, i moved my son n me bak 2 my mums 4 5days! & it did the trick! as he then started 2 pull his finger out! i ave 2 say tho its very hard the 1st few months wen baby is born! its such a change in ur life & theres lots of new worrys 2 contend wiv! but things do settle down & they do get better! but if ur unhappy in ur relationship then u really need 2 think abt wot u want & if ur partner is guna change! it cant b nice 4 u feelin this way hon! add me as a friend if u like! xx

hi,my lil ones 4 n half months old i put him dwn to sleep at bout 9 n he sleeps strait thru til mrnin n my partner dnt do much!! ive treid gettin my mum to talk to him n e said e change....but aint!! e dnt like goin out i ain bin out since b4 preg i forced him to come out wiv me wen preg coz knew it b hard afta baby born bu we went out once thru whole 9months!! it jus gets me sooo down n kno one undastands wa im goin thru!! dnt get me wrong my babys my world i love him wiv all my heart but his dad jus ain ere 4me!!

sorry 2 hear u feel that way! things will hopefully get beta soon! ave u got a new born hon? if so it may b down 2 lack of sleep! he may b tired at nite times hang in there chick if this is the case! also ave u tried mayb gettin a close friend of sum1 frm ur family or his 2 ave a chat wiv him abt how u feel? sumtimes wen ur tellin ur partner how u feel they jus take it as ur moanin at them! so sumtimes it helps if sum1 else chats wiv them 4 u! or try n get urself a babysitter 4 acouple of hrs n go 4 a meal 2gether! u still gotta make time 4 eachother! its important! n it'll do u the power of gud! xx

i feel so alone,my partner jus dosnt seem to care how i feel!! dont get me wrong he's a great dad ....but he jus ain ere for me....i do everytin i can to keep him happy,but yet he cnt do da same 4me,i dnt want much jus wana feel wanted n like e realy does love me....wen babys asleep i jus want to cuddle up to him n see where dat leads to but yet he dnt wan come near me,im insecure bout myself as it is but he dont make it any beta!! i feel like im beta off on my own coz he cnt give me wat i need n i dnt wana jus settle for wat i got but im scared to be a single mum n i love him sooo much!! yes ive tried to talk to him but nuffin ever changes....it gets to me sooo much!!