ello there! well u cetainly ave gone abt it the rite way! ur hubbys obviously got alot 2 deal with in his head, wot he went thru is jus awful, i cant even begin 2 imagine, u sound very sure that he wldnt touch u again, so if u truely believe that then mayb couples councillin wld benefit u, it certainly wldnt do u any harm! it will prob do him gud not bein in the same house as u at the moment also its safer 4 u n ur lil girl, as u jus neva no wot he may do wen hes not in his normal frame of mind! (wot eva normal is eh!) drinkin whilst on his pills isnt a gud combination! n will obviously not make him think str8! also time away frm u will give him a chance 2 think abt things! & hopefully make him c that hes really got 2 deal wiv things!
you'v certainly had alot on ur plate avent u hun! ave 2 say pat on the back 2 u, as uv made such gud decisions & ave been sensible! at end of the day u no wot ur hubby is really like so u jus carry on stayin level headed!
if u wana add me as a friend pls do! hope ur all ok xxxx

I cudnt advise anything better to do than what you've done already, I think you've done the right things. Its so sad what happened to your husband, its not his fault what happened to him and maybe having kids has made him remember what happened to him all those years back. Im not suprised that he's acted in such a way, im not saying its right and trying to make an excuse for him but it sounds like he's been through alot, he's got alot of issues that he has to deal with. I dont think you should split up, it would just make him worse he needs u at this time, for better or for worse in sickness in health right? Depression is an illness and he needs your support as much as you'd need his, say for instance if you was post-natal. I think if he has your support it will give him more of an incentive to carry on with the tablets and seeing a councilier. Maybe seeing someone for both of you would help, it gives u a chance to get it all off ur chest i can only imagine the stress ur going thru at the moment. Hopefully all of this will improve things and give him a better state of mind, making it safer for you and ur children. I do think he can get over this but it will take time and effort. I really hope whatever decision u come to works 4 u and ur kids, and ur husband aswell. If you want to chat add me i'd b more than happy to try and give advice, or carry on chatting on here i understand if u want 2 stay anonymous. Hope everything works out for u x x x

of course social srvices will be involved.its for the safety of your daughter.they may seem horrible but they only want whats best for her.and at the end of the day thats the most important thing.i wouldnt give him another chance for my safety and for the safety of my children.i know you love him but you cant guarantee it wont happen again
if you really want this to work,then give him another chance but dont let him live with you for a long time and def dont leave him alone with your daughter.until not just you but police and social services and phychiatrist are happy that it wont happen but then be wary.i wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.really do take care
xxx

Hey, Obviously hes not very 'well' at the minute. U say u don't think he will do it again but how can u be so sure when this is the second time he has blacked out and not known what he was doing?
As his wife u should support him through whats going on coz i don't think he has intentionally tried to hurt u, but i think for now, for both urs and ur babys safety u should not live together until he is getting proper help and u know these black outs have stopped. Spend time as a family tho and try counciling and maybe once the court case is over he will hopefully get some sort of closure and be able to move on.
With things like that of course social services are going to be involved to ensure ur daughter is safe so right now i think u need to concenrate on providing a stable home for her to show ss that she is well looked after so they will stop contacting u.

Hi im 22 and im 30weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. i have a 19month old daughter and have been married for just over a year. i work full time but have been off a lot lately with illness-ear,kidney,urine infections and pelvis pain and with family problems. at end sept my husband came to me in the night and said he had been having flash backs and memories from when he was bout 7 or 8 it turns out both he and his sister were sexually abused by a man who was at the time their mothers bf and their fathers best friend. as my husband had blocked this from his memory he has been goin thru all the emotion of what happened now and is very depressed. he had to stop wprk and has been on anti depressants and incapasity benefit since new year and is now seeing a councilor. 4weeks ago he went out drinking which he has been doin 2 or 3 times a week lately and getting drunk to help him sleep or forget things but this night 4weeks ago i was at my mums wit r daughter and came home later than planned, just before 10 so was past her bedtime, my sis helped me in as i thought my husband would still be out. when she left he came down stairs n started sayin he was goin to burn house next door down so our house would go up too and we could claim on insurance. i z this was stupid and tried to tlk to him to convince him not to do it esp wit me n r daughter in house. she was in bed and around midnight we went upstairs and continued to talk then i got up to go to loo and he touched my arm i turned to face him thinking he was goin to give me a hug and he grabbed me by throat and pushed me to bed and was chokin me. i thought i was goin to die n wen he let go i asked him for my phone, went lifted r daughter n locked us in bathroom and rang his mum. he went down and rang police n ambulance. his mum came over and then police got here. i went to hospital and all is fine with baby. he is sorry for what happened but cant remember it he only just about remembers makin the 2nd 999call to see what was takin them so long. he has 'blacked out' before about 5weeks prior to this he had self harmed and couldnt remember anything. we are tryin to work thru things as i honestly dont think he will do it again or knew what he was doin at time but the fact he doesnt remember worries me. he isnt living with us at mo this was my decision and he has been fine with things a bit upset that i wont leave him alone wit our daughter as social services advised againt it. i feel angry that he is the 1 that did sumit wrong n yet it feels like im bn juged by SS for tlkin to him the woman i saw was really horrible and is the only person who has a problem with what is goin on all the docs n councilors n every1 else we spoke to and he has seen all think we r being sensible and 1 even z he should b back hom so we can move on. i didnt tell my family as they have enough to deal with and i believe it was a 1 off that will never happen again and i want to work thru things but dont feel my family would agree with this as my mum and grandmother are both diorced due to domestic abuse. i wish social services werent involved and im annoyed that all the appointments they set up wit me r when i should b in work so i have to keep takin time off which im not gettin paid for so im loosin money n they r draggin things on n i dont understand y. yes it was serious what happened but hes not livin here we r tlkin and he calls down everyday but only when i say he can come down and i dont think he will hurt me again and he wouldnt harm r kids so just wish it was over. his family r supportin me in my decisions and will be there for me even if we split but my husband has suggested i go c a councilor and his mum suggested couples councilin if we want to make things work. the couple thing might b good but i dont think i need to tlk to any1 but ive bn told i could b tryin to forget rather than deal with things and i just need to know am i doing the right thing or should i leave him? i love him so much and think it was a mix of not cn his councilor for a few weeks so things wer building up, the stress of the court case and not really being kept up to date with what was goin on and the alcohol and tablets so i guess im a little more sympathic and while i dont condone or forgive what happened i am willing to try to make things work. what do u think?