me and my partner took turns feeling the wa your bloke feels right now, it's probably just hit him now how big a sacrifice he will have to make but I'm sure he will realise how worth it it is the first time he sees babba and he/she grabs his finger for first time. aleast he coming to all the appointments with you my bloke never did his mates at work ripped it out of him for coming to one scan with me for being a "woman"!

Hello, I was in the same sort of postion as you. Me and my boyfriend starting trying for a baby and i also fell pregnant very quickly, We were rowing about 3 days before i found out and he said i should go back on the pill cos he wouldnt be over the moon if i fell pregnant as we werent getting on to well, well i did a test 3 days later and i already was! I was happy but very shocked and so was my partner, He wasnt interested when i spoke about it but what upset me the most is he has a little girl from a prevous relationship and they are really close and i didnt want my baby to be 2nd best.The scan came along and everything changed we found out we were having a boy and he was the proudest dad eva. He is so excited now, im now 36wks and looking forward to be a happy family. This baby has brought us so close together we couldnt be without eachother even tho i had doubts just like u i bet once hes got his head round it everything will b perfect xxxx

Hey
I had my first baby 15 weeks ago and before i fell pregnant my partner really wanted a baby but once i was pregnant i felt like he didnt want one anymore as he completley lost interest. Once our son was born he changed completley (again!) and now totally dotes on our son. If i was you i wouldnt worry about it as your boyfriend is probablly just a bit apprehensive as to what a baby may bring. See if you can talk to him about his worries and that may help.

Best of luck!

I’m sorry to hear about the situation you are in with your boyfriend, which obviously is very worrying for you.

Falling pregnant often comes as a surprise, even when it’s planned, particularly when the reality kicks in that it is real, that someone is going to have new and very important responsibilities, and that your life is going to certainly change, for the better in my opinion.

Many men, and women, take time to adjust to the fact that their previous life, where often their only responsibility is themselves, will shortly be coming to an end. How long this takes is different for everyone.

Although what he said about wishing he had waited a bit longer obviously shocked you, it’s good that he felt able to say this rather than bottling it up. It’s how he feels, and you and he should find it helps to discuss this and to get your feelings out in the open because hiding these is only likely to make matters worse.

It might help for him to talk to friends who are already dads, who’ll be able to give him the honest facts, that being a dad of course impacts on your social life, but brings so many even better opportunities to have fun.


The information provided by our experts is intended for educational purposes only. Neither the expert nor gurgle can be held responsible or liable for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made on this site. As our experts do not know your specific circumstances, they are not suggesting any specific course of action for you to follow. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with your doctor or other healthcare professional for individualised health and medical advice.

It is quite normal to wonder if you have done the right thing. Most people have occasional moments when they wonder should I be doing this. Some have these feelings more often. Its realistic to think that a baby will change life- because this is what babies do. Life will not be the same after the birth and its not a bad thing to give this some thought before hand.
It is much easier for women to feel the baby is real- they know how their body is changing- much harder for men. What ever they feel during the pregnancy most parents love their babies and would not change things once they arrive
Dorothy Einon

My hubby was in shock when i told him I was preggers back in March. He never said anything that upset me but at the same time he wouldn't participate in "baby talk" which hurt just as much. He came to all of my scans (thusfar) which helped him turn the corner. Now I'm in my 30th week and he is completly different....at times I think he is more excited about the arrival of our baby then me! So there is hope....maybe your partner said that to hide how he is really feeling!? Talk your fears/concerns through with him and see if he starts to open up...hope this helps.

Hi There,

Panic not my dear, it is perfectly normal for both of you to have some jitters about the whole life changing event that is not too far away for you both.

My partner was in complete denial with my first child. I gave up smoking, he continued smoking in the house and would not budge on the whole not smoking in the house rule.

During my entire pregnancy there was no sign of any excitement whatsoever. Even after the baby was born his life was virtually unchanged to begin with and I was left holding the baby (very literally).

This time around, we planned the pregnancy and because it happened so quickly, he was in complete shock and I think again a bit of denial.

He at one point told me he didn't know what he wanted...not very comforting.

He's coming to terms with the fact that it's happening but the best thing to do is talk about what is concerning your partner. Reassure him he is not alone in having concerns, surely there are things you are worried about? Share them with him.

Maybe its a starting point with a discussion about how he imagines his life will change for the better and the worse. If it's that he is worried that he will never have a night out again, maybe set some ground rules in that you both have a night out once a month (this way you will both know that there is an expectation for regular social interaction with the outside world). You can say that you are concerned about the same thing and have the same expectation that you will be able to have a regular night out...

Think about what your concerns are and try and work out a plan together on how you will deal with them.

Hope this is helpful (sorry if i've gone on a bit).

Good luck with it all.

Hiya i know how u feel about this because my boyfriends said a similiar thing, and to be honest secretly ive sat there and thought am i actually doing the right thing even tho i want this baby so much u cant help but think that. I think its natural 2 get cold feet and i really wudnt take it as an insult even tho i kno its hard not 2. Ive even had his mom question me after an arguement asking if i regret getting pregnant and i felt so angry, it was as if the next thing she was gna say was 'its not too late u kno'.
Have a chat with ur boyfriend but also see it as a good thing that hes been open with u and honest to tell u how he really feels rather than saying nothing at all and stressing about it on his own. Its only natural to worry and stress about having a baby but it will all be worth it and he'll realise that when u have ur baby. Men r funny like that tho they think theyr missing out if they settle down but eventually all his mates will settle down aswell and he wont feel as bad so make sure u tell him that. Good luck! x x x