need help with a 5 yr old

As this is a sudden change in behaviour you need to try to identify what has triggered the change before you can put it right. Just dealing with the behaviour is not going to be a long term solution so do try not to get cross with him or tell him off when he hits or kicks you.

From what you have said there could be two things that may be a problem for your son – school or his one year old sibling, but you may be able to think about what else has been happening in your life recently and identify something else which could be causing him concern.

If we assume it is one of the above, the first and most obvious place to start is with his school. Make an appointment to see his teacher and talk about the changes in his behaviour that you have already identified. His teacher may well have noticed things too or will certainly be in a position to see if he is worried about anything during the day. Many things worry or upset young children when they first start school – even going to the toilet can be a traumatic experience! His teacher will observe his friendship groups, making sure that he is accepted by and accepting of his peer group.

If there is nothing obvious at school it could be that he is feeling a little jealous of his baby brother or sister. You may wonder why this should happen now but the baby is now becoming a little person in his or her own right and you may be talking about the things he or she has done during the day which your son has not participated in because he has been at school. Make sure that when he is getting ready for school he has plenty of time with you or his dad without interruption by the baby. Encourage him to feel very special and grown up because he is going to school and the baby isn’t. When he comes home again try to give him time just for him, if at all possible see if a friend or family member can look after the baby so you can pick him up on his own once a week so the two of you can have some really special time together.

Most important of all, ask him what is wrong! Explain to him that it hurts you when he kicks or hits you and tell him that it makes you sad – does he feel sad too? He may be able to draw a picture that will give you a clue – give him the opportunity for this and talk to him about it. His teacher will be able here too.

I am sure that once you have got to the bottom of what is worrying your little boy he will become his well behaved and polite self again.

i spoke to his teacher and she said he is fine at school no problems and he is always polite.
his grandad spoke to him the other day and my son said its because he misses his dad (although he is with him from school on a firday til school on a monday) my ex husband has another son who is 2 so dont think its bacause of his sister and both me and his dad have remarried but we are all very close we all have sunday lunch together and christmas and we baby sit for each other!
dont know what could of caused this as it was all of a sudden just dont know where to turn now!!!

hi there, i really dont think your little boy would just cry for no reason he must have problems either at home or at school try talking to his teacher. if you realy cant get to the botom of it maybe take him to the doctors as sometimes children can be refered to someone who they will feel able to talk to instead of their parents, just best to nip the problem in the bud b4 your little guy ends up to sad. good luck x

Hi i am a primary teacher so just thought i'd offer a few ideas. Have you talked with his teacher yet? Sometimes children won't talk to their parents about school and his taeacher migtht already know if something has been going on. Otherwise you can always ask them to keep an eye on him in case he's being bullied. Also he may be mixing with the wrong crowd and could be learning his behaviour from them. Has he just started Year 1? If so i know a lot of children find the tranistion from Reception to Year 1 very difficult as there's a lot less play happening and sometimes (depending on the school) none. This could be causing your child to dread going to school. I know he seems ok after school this may because he's worrying about going to school but when he gets there he's fine. Just a few ideas hope it helps. x

Hi Custardfly
I sooooooooooooooooo feel for you hun. My son started school in september and from a lovely little boy has turned into a uncontrolable brat. And i never thought i would say that about my son as many would comliment me on how polite and well behaved he is but not now as he's a different boy.
He never tells me what's he's done at school and when he is at home he is fighting and being really hyper to his 2 year old sister who thinks his behaviour is fun.I dont know what i've done wrong?
Is your son happy at school? Nothing worrying him? Jelous of the little one? xx

i have 2 children 5 and nearly a year ld, just latley my 5 yr old son keep playing up or crying for no reason what so ever have tried talking to him but that didnt get me anywhere and now he is worse! it starts first thing in the morning when i call him to get up for school he kicks and hits me or my husband all they to school, after school he is ok for a little while but then starts again, hes not eating his tea and is throwing it on the floor! am just getting to the point now where i dont know what to do and dont know where to turn usally he is very well behaved and very polite!!!