Ladies, I'm in need of a rant! Please don't take any of my threats seriously! i'm a nice person really!
I'm 24 weeks pregnant and for the past couple of months i have been acting like a lunatic! As sweet as a double helping of Lemon Cheese cake one minute and as evil as is i served it to you with a large sprinkling of arsenic the next!
My poor husband is the victim of this piece as he gets to suffer the brunt of my Jekyl and Hyde personality complex.As i can't take anything to calm me down i've suggested my husband go to his GP and beg for some valium. This way when i get possessed by the evil spirits he can just pop a pill and let it all go over his head and hopefully forget who gave him the black eye whilst he slept!
I've convinced myself that my mother in-law is evil as well as she gave us her hoover when she bought a new one.. OK this is not such an evil thing to do. but the fact that i could probably pick up more dust whilst sucking through a straw and that it spits out the dirt that it does suck up leads me to believe that she whats me to suffer for taking her last born away from her! Hormonal Over-reaction? Maybe. Doesn't stop me wanting to take the hoover and bit by bit forcefully place it where the sun hasn't shone in many a year!
Apart from that i may have screamed and some fish fingers earlier today because they fell out of the grill and landed on the floor, ruining my plans for a fishfinger a cheese sandwich. Thinking back it was probably the fault of the grill pan which leapt out of my hand and caused the poor fishfingers to plummet to their untimely and unexpected trip to the bin!!!
As you can see i'm in a very weird place at the minute and would appreciate someone telling me that i am not alone in all this. I like to see the funny side of my predicament as if i told you how i was really feeling i'd be writing this through streaming eyes and uncontrolable sobs brought on by the fact that i already stared this rant once and accidentally wiped it and had to start all over again!
Help!!!