I have a beautiful baby boy who's 23 weeks old and a loving and supportive partner. My baby is a great sleeper (wakes 2 times a night maximum but other wise sleeps for 12-13 hours) and has a really sunny disposition. Yet every single day feels like a struggle. I have to constantly talk myself round to getting the inclination to do anything. I keep my son clean and entertained and well fed, but I can't seem to do the same for myself. I don't feel overwhelmed or unable to cope but I do feel completely detached alot of the time, both from my son and my partner who is working away at the moment. It's hard to describe but it's basically like I'm just going through the motions and not actually taking pleasure in anything. II feel like I constantly have extreme PMT. There is a low level of anger and frustration, I will cry at things like adverts yet just feel detached emotionally from my family. I have to do something for the sake of my relationship as well as my baby. What is wrong with me? Has anyone else experienced feelings like this? Is it still possible that my hormones haven't settled down after the pregnancy? I think if I knew someone else had gone through this and then come out the other side then I would start to think I can get better.

hi,

As i am reading your words I am nodding my head and find myself with a tear in my eye. I waited just under a year and half before I finally admitted that there was something wrong, I was just like you, processing my baby, I found I was never in the house, it was easier to go and visit some friends who would be more than happy to play with my son, they used to say to me that he was good because he would to other people. I wanted my son more than anything in the world and felt that as I had wanted this baby so much I could not moan about anything like sleep deprevation etc and found myself trying to be super mum and always happy on the outside, b ut crumbling on the inside, my relationship with my husband deteriated badly. At one point I was going to leave both my husband and my baby, luckily my husband would not let me go and I cired all night and could not stop myself. When I had my PND test with my health visitor I lied , cos again I was super mum and could cope. Apparently lots of first time mums don't tell the full truth on the test.

I foung that I was soo critical of myself and thought on the inside that I was doing everything wrong, and any advice anyone gave me was a critisism.

In the end when I had stopped crying I went to the doctors and got some help, I asked to see a lady doctor and felt that I opened up a lot more to her than I would if it was a man, she proscribed me with Prozac (Fluoxitine) and all of a sudden things just fell in to place, you don't really notice them doing anything but they seem to lift the fog, I started to enjoy my little boy on the inside abnd not for the show of everyone else.

My only regret is that I did not do anything about it sooner and the only advice is to get it sorted out now.

Please don't suffer in silence.

Niki

When I had PMT it was a nightmare, but I found oil of primrose with b6 helped me a lot. Also there are a lot of remedies out there that can help you. Pop along to your health shop and speak to someone there, who can advise you.Reading your notes it seems to me that you are having it all the time and that it could be a mild form of post natal depression, which is more likely after you have had a baby. I would advise that you to go and see your doctor and mention exactly how you are feeling. Feeling detached and like you are going through the motions can be symptoms of post-natal depression. The good news is there are lots of things the doctor can do to help you start feeling better again, and you should also know that these feelings do eventually go away. Definitely make an appointment with your doctor though as many women suffer from PND but lots of women can be helped through the condition. All the best. Susie.

You aren't alone! Many women go through this sort of thing and sometimes you can't seem to see a reason.
I had a few issues after my baby was born despite the fact she was the best thing in the world to us. I'd had depression in the past and also suffer from ME, so I could see the signs. I got in contact with my HV, who were great. They came to see me and offerred lots of support for both the feeding issues and with the way I was feeling. I caught it early, and with the support from the HVs and my family, I'm feeling so much better now.
I'm sure it's hard enough when your partner is away. I don't know what I'd do if my husband had to go away on work.
Best thing to do is contact your HV, it is one of those things that happens to some of us. Calling for help from the right people is the best thing, and the first step to getting out of that tunnel.
Also try and get a couple of hours to yourself, to spend on yourself. I hate to be without my little girl, but the couple of hours I spent at the hairdressers when I was feeling at my low point was quit nice. I was ok with leaving baby with my mum, so I got to relax a bit.
Hope all goes well.