Building social skills

Contact with other children – and adults – is key to building your child’s social skills. However, the way in which you choose to manage their social interaction with others may depend very much on your personal preference, your child’s character and your own preferences regarding childcare.

It’s important to get out and about with your baby to socialize – both for your own benefit and for theirs! Seeing you interacting happily with friends and other moms will encourage your child to look to others for company and stimulus. If you’re new to your area and don’t know any other moms, your local library is likely to run children’s play and crafting sessions; and local playgrounds will be a good source of company too.

Children up to about two and a half don’t play together in the way that older children do. They tend to play alongside each other, with minimal interaction. As she approaches three, your child will likely start to interact more with other children in specific games or activities – and this is when the development of true social skills starts to take place.

Helping your child to socialize

- Always set a good example by being polite and considerate in company, and by respecting others.

- Praise your child’s good social skills – for example when she is kind to another child or shares a toy voluntarily.

- Encourage friends with children to visit you at home and discuss with your child what activities you might do and what toys you might play with, so that they can prepare for the visit.

- If you have visiting children, try to avoid situations where they may end up in conflict over toys and go instead for activities which don’t centre around who has what, such as painting or play-doh.

- Accept that some children are by nature less outgoing than others. If your child is shy, don’t force her into social situations with lots of children where she may feel overwhelmed and anxious. Try instead to limit her social interaction to one-on-one situations to begin with, to help build her confidence.

- If your child isn’t forthcoming with other children, help her to develop simple ‘icebreakers’ as a way of introducing herself, such as suggesting a game or offering to share a toy.

Childcare and the development of social skills

Daycare gives young children a good opportunity to socialize with other children, although the flip side is that your child may be exposed to bad behavior on occasion too, and may pick up bad habits. A good daycare provider will have a code of conduct for children and will enforce it vigorously. And a well as meeting other children your child will also come into contact with a variety of adults of differing ages and backgrounds, which can broaden her social interaction.

Home daycare providers will have a smaller group of children to look after, and you may decide that this is a better environment for your child from a social point of view. If you’re opting for a nanny, try to find one who has other nanny contacts in the area, with whose charges your child can mix. A  nanny share is another option that can be beneficial from a social point of view.

For more advice on this, read our article finding the right childcare.

The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.