My older child still can’t get the hang of potty training
Some toddlers take to potty training like a duck to water and are ready to ditch nappies within a week of starting, but don’t be surprised to find that it isn’t that easy with your child, especially if she’s closer to two years of age than three. New research suggests that starting potty training between 27 and 32 months is the ideal window for moving your child out of nappies. Starting younger may simply prolong the process, while children who potty trained later than this age are more likely to have day and nighttime wetting between ages four and 12.
The study seems to back up the notion that timing is more important than the technique you use, whether it be child-orientated (where you wait for your toddler to show signs of readiness and then allow them to progress at their own pace), parent-orientated, where you start potty training when it’s convenient for you and sit your toddler on her potty at regular intervals).
The key is to try to avoid thinking that you are in control of potty training – instead, make sure that your child is physically and developmentally ready and keep in mind that this isn’t necessarily dependent on age. Just as children tend to progress at different levels – for example, some walking sooner and some later – some will be ready to potty train closer to two years old while some will need to wait until they’re closer to three. Some toddlers just aren’t physically or developmentally ready to receive and interpret the nerve signals that tell the rest of us that it’s time to go to the bathroom; while others may get it but their muscles are able to hold on until they get to the potty.
Whatever you do, don’t force potty training, and try to ignore any pressure, intended or otherwise, that you may feel from family or friends whose toddlers are already potty trained. If your child needs more time, allow it – otherwise you risk her becoming anxious and stressed. This can lead to toddlers withholding bowel movements, which over time can lead to constipation.
Signs your child is ready to potty train
It’s by no means a perfect science, but children will usually exhibit some of these signs of readiness:- Staying dry for up to two hours.
- Expressing discomfort from a wet nappy and asking for it to be changed.
- Showing interest in the bathroom and, particularly in you using the bathroom.
- Indicating by words or body language when they need to go – for example, they may cross their legs or clutch at their nappy.
- Wanting to wear ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ pants.
- Being able to help dress/undress themselves.
- Understanding simple directions.
Potty training tactics for your older child
Make going to the potty part of the normal routine when your child wakes, after breakfast, before and after lunch and snack times, and before bed. If you are at home with your child during the day, encourage her to take potty breaks when you do.An older child, with a more well-developed streak of independence can benefit from a co-operative potty training routine. Aim to get her invested in the idea of using the potty – let her choose her own potty, and talk to her about how great it will be when she can be in charge of going to the bathroom all by herself: then she’ll be able to wear those big girl pants (let her choose some of these too). Remind her that if she’s potty trained, she’ll have more freedom to do ‘big kid’ activities, such as going to nursery.
Read books about potty training, and motivate her to succeed by setting up a reward chart with stickers so she can mark successful trips to the bathroom. Make potty time enjoyable – for example, with boys, letting them aim at cereal Os floating in the potty or toilet bowl is great fun. And have a pile of books next to the potty, or a tub of special toys she only gets to play with when she sits on her potty.
Even with an older child you should be prepared for accidents, but avoid punishing your child if and when this happens. Instead, use accidents as ‘teachable moments’. Explain to your child that by using the potty next time, she can prevent it happening again, and give her lots of praise when she does get it right.
The information in this feature is intended for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health, the health of your child or the health of someone you know, please consult with a doctor or other healthcare professional.
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Mothercare
ELC
